Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Mavs vs Heat: This rematch seems familiar

November 1998, the World Wrestling Federation hosted a tournament for the vacant world title at it's annual Survivor Series Pay Per View. The evil Coporation, lead by Vince McMahon seemed to be backing the vetran Mankind ( a gimick by future Hall of Famer, and professional stunt artist, Mick Foley) while the crowd was backing the rising star (and future tooth fairy) The Rock. In the tournaments climax, a swerve took place when Vince McMahon aligned himself The Rock, costing Mankind his first run with the championship.

The deranged superstar was shocked that his boss had turned on him. The crowd was stunnded that The Rock sold out and mortgaged his soul to the devil. And a new era of pro wrestling began.

12 years later, the NBA seems to be unintentionally recycling the same story line (or intentionally if you believe Daughnagy wasn't alone in his shit ball actions).

The Miami Heat and Dallas Mavericks 2010-2011 NBA finals seem to stack up similarly (maybe they don't but I'm looking to come at this with my own twist, so suck it). Dallas comes into this series as battle tested vetran who is closer to the end then he is the begining. Miami, the corporate sell out, who is only at the begining of what could be a decade long vice grip over title contention.

Miami drew first blood in 2006, by winning a poorly officiated series (thats being kind. We were one David Stern giving Mark Cuban a chair shot to the dome on the Mav's center court away from convincing the world the NBA stages it's outcomes- like boxing). Five irrelelvent season later, Miami completed it's heel turn by adding Lebron James and Chris Bosh (aka. the Miami NWO, aka.a the biggest example of colluhsion to ever happen to professional sports) and as if it were scripted in the vain of a WWE promo, they proclaimed they were about to rip off seven championships.

What originally started as a joke (I called them the Miami NWO right after 'The Decision') became reality. As soon as they had introduction party thing, they became the NBA's first full fledged heel team since the Bad Boy Pistons. Everyone hated them. Thats not even a generalization too. Lebron, a defending two time MVP, put up season stats comparible to his previous two seasons and was LEFT OFF of some writers MVP ballots (and no one complained, because after all Scottie Pippen doesn't get MVP's).

Dallas, on the other hand, has managed to find a way to rebrand themselves late in their career. Once known as a 'jobber to the stars' type ( much like Mankind was with the Undertaker, Austin, and The Rock ) the road to the title usually went through them. Just ask LA, San Antonio, and of course, Miami. Yet somehow, against all odds, the Mavericks have shed their title of 'playoff jobber' and become a maineventer, and potential title winner.

You're not supposed to get better at the end of your career. And I don't think the Mavericks have gotten better. They're just a vetran team that saw a small crack in the door of opertunity and kicked the shit in. They took care of business in Portland (despite the Game 4 meltdown, which is heroic on it's own). They landed a 3 time Western Conference Champion LA Lakers team just as it was imploading, lit the Lakers fuse, then sat back and watch them blow up. They caught the Thunder with a deer in the headlights 'holy shit we weren't supposed to get THIS far' look on their face, and polietly showed them the exit.

Now they're in the main event. They belong. They did things the right way. They built a team over a couple years, weathered storms, paid their dues and now they're getting their shot.

Miami is the opposite of that in every way. This team hasn't been together for a full calender year. They have three players remaining that were on last years roster. They were lucky enough to have cleared enough cap out so Dawayne Wade could go to his two superstar subordinates and fill their heads with ideas of half naked Cuban women and titles.

Bosh and Lebron turned their back's on their fans, much in the same way The Rock did in November of 98. All they cared about was an easier way of getting to the title. They sold their souls to make life easier. I guess If you can't beat 'em, you gotta join 'em.

Miami doesn't deserve the belt. Not yet, not like this. It's The Mav's time.

Dallas in 6. Have a Nice Day.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Rich Cho, Out.

Tomorrows Orgeonian headline might as well read: "Blazers Fire Cho; Belvin fucking Confused." Because they did fire him; and I am fucking confused.


How does a team that aspires to be ellite justify firing a GM 10 months after they gave him the keys? He hasn't gone through a draft yet. He hasn't gone through Free Agency yet. All Rich Cho was allowed to do was handle another Greg Oden injury press conference, Brandon Roy's injury and the diva fits that came with it, the Rudy Fernandez situation (which he did flawlessly, ps) and pull the trigger on the Gerald Wallace trade.



I guess they paid him to be a baby sitter?


Or maybe Paul Allen has lost his fucking mind. I'm actually not prepared to rule that out. This is the same man that green lit the drafting of Oden and Roy despite injury problems. He is also the man who shit canned Kevin Pritchard, the most popular executive in the history of the franchise and a man who turned our team around-for reasons including (but not limited to) being too popular.


Look he's the guy who allowed Steve Patterson and John Nash to run the team.


I'm not going to sit here on my broke ass pulpit and question Paul Allen (and the Vulcans) business savy. They're checking accounts prove they are smartter than I. That being said, their basketball decisions have been on par with horse shit. Even when they make what appears to be a good decision ( Rich Cho) they ultimately fuck it up. Which they did by firing him after 10 MONTHS!


Take me for an example: I used to suck at my job. I sucked at it, and I hated it. Not only that, but I told EVERY one who would listen to me. 3 years later, I'm still here (even survived a two layoffs) and now I'm good at my job (but I still hate it).



Rich Cho wasn't even given an oppertunity to prove if he was good or not. Weathering another injury or telling an overpaid NBA diva to stop bitching is not a GM's primary objective. He isn't a baby sitter.



Could that have been the plan? Let Rich Cho hold the title as GM for a year and allow someone else we wanted to become avalible? I guess, except I'm not sure who has become avalible this year that wasn't last.


Whether or not you liked Cho or not, this was not cool. 10 months ago, he was a guest on Paul Allens yatch getting a last minute interview, and before we knew it we had a first time GM as our guy. I remember it vividly. I was preparing myself for Danny Ferry or Randy Pfund, then out of no where it was announced Rich Cho was the guy. "Who the hell is Rich Cho?" I thought to myself. Apparently he was a Sam Presti descipile (thats a plus) who appealed to Paul Allens nerd tendencies.


Now fast forward to today where Paul Allen has either developed some wierd form of buyers remorse (or the more likely scenerio: the Vulcans claimed another job) and the man who flipped Jared Bayless for a 1st round draft pick (when the Hornets still thought they were lottery bound) is gone. Fact is, Cho was done dirty. Mr. Allen, you gave him the job, the least you could've done is given him the chance to do it.


Well, unless you bring back KP ( which I would support 100 percent).

Monday, May 2, 2011

Navy Seal Kills Boogeyman

After ten years of hiding Osama Bin Laden got whats been owed to him- a bullet to the dome. Thats all I need to say on subject.

In other news, I think it's going to spawn a Team America like short story from me. The overall plot seems to be a character based on me is going to be held captive by terroirst after a botched attempt to kill Osama Bin Laden. This is going to result in the CIA to reform a top secret group called "Maverick Renegades" which will by made up of a few guys I know as my drinking buddies.

The next few pages will be littered with dick jokes and violence. I think I have a winning idea here. We'll see if I get some time to do it.

In sadder news, I'm not going to write a big long post about the end of the Blazer season. Just know that I'm upset.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

5 game win streak ends..

Yes, The Mariners put together 5 wins in a row. On the road no less. Feel free to take a moment to let that sink in.

Over the last five games, the Mariners have done a fairly convincing job pretending to be fielding a major league caliber batting order averaging a shade over 6 runs a game. Now I'm not about to relive last years box scores, but I'm pretty sure that could be the best five game stretch in the last 13 months. Feel free to prove me wrong.

How have they done it? Well outside of six runs a game, their pitching has been LIGHTS OUT. All five starters pitched good enough to get a win and no game has seen a team score more then 4 runs. Again, this is being done on the road. Against Detroit and Boston. Feel free to take a moment to let THAT sink in.



The M's have hit a shocking four home runs over this five game stretch. Miguel Olivio and Justin Smoak each homered twice. Smoak, who returned from brievement right before the win streak began, is quickly proving that he is the most compitant non Ichiro hitting Mariner in the last 5 years. If he keeps this up, I have every intention of naming my first son after him.

Unfortunately, today the Mariners remembered they were the Seattle Mariners and shit away a lights out Felix performance for a 3-2 loss. It was heartbreaking to see them return to their unwatchable form. Don't get me wrong; it's not like I was thinking they were living a real life Disney movie here- despite the streak, I wasn't conjuring up fantasies of shocking the world in October. I'm heartbroken more because for the first time in 13 months I was watching a team that could keep my attention for longer then an opening frame. Last year was so awful, the Mariners had no chance of making my tv unless Felix was pitching. Not even a fraction of hope.

But today they seemingly came back to reality. It was their 16th loss in 29 tries and they still play in a division that features last year's American League Chapions, the Texas Rangers- so my expectations haven't changed much.

The only thing that has changed is my desire to actually WATCH these games. As long as they can be competative ( thats not much to ask for since these are professional Baseball players) they will have my attention all summer. Thats all I ask.



Of course winning would be cool, too.