Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Justin Smoak Era, Over?

Yesteday, Justin Smoak got demoted to Triple A which is probably managment tapping out in regards to his future in Seattle. I had high hopes for the 1st baseman, as can be seen clearly in basically anything I have written in the last two years. But there comes a time when you just gotta cut your losses.

Now, he is 25. Can he turn it around? Sure. Will he do it in Seattle? Maybe not. Maybe he would, but it's not like we are working with a small sample size here. He has played 243 professional games in a Seattle jersey. He is numbers: .195 ave, 33 home runs and 107 rbi's.  Lots of potential or not,  those numbers aren't cutting it.

So Jack, Eric, and the two dick heads (Chuck Armstrong and Howard Lincoln) called it a day on the Justin Smoak experiment. Lets take a moment and reflect.

Ladies and gentleman, the Justin Smoak era.



I enjoyed the highlights you had, Justin. Few and far in between as they maybe, I  did enjoy them. The Home Run tear you had at the begining of May 2011, the 2 home run six rbi night in Texas. They both got me exciting. Sadly, that was only like an 8 game window. You played 235 other games for the Mariners.

I hope you turn it around and become yet another former Mariner who winds up featured in the AllStar game.


Dark Knight Rises

If you haven't watched Dark Knight Rises yet, then feel free to read some of my other classic material.Just don't read this. This one is not for you. Move along please, nothing to see here.

Three weeks ago had you asked me when I would be watching Dark Knight Rises, I would've responded immediately,"Midnight show, duh." However, new job and parental responsibillities interviened and it delayed the culmination of my Batman experience by 5 days.

That movie was worth the wait.

I was perfectly satisfied with this continuation/ending of The Dark Knight triolgy. Ultimately the plot can boiled down to this : The aftermath of Batman Begins + the aftermath of The Dark Knight= Dark Knight Rises.

I feel like this is a good point to touch on some misconceptions. This is not a retelling of the Batman comics. This is Christopher Nolans vision of what it would take for Batman to exist in a modern setting.  This is not Knightfall. This is not No Man's Land. Batman Begins wasn't Year One.  While it's undeniably true that these movies were influenced by all of these books, they weren't the blue prints. To quote Captain Barbosa in Pirates of the Carribean, "They are more like, suggestions."

The comic movie relm is getting saturated, I'll be the first to admit that. But the Nolan films feel different. This movie isn't a comic movie, as much as it's a war movie with a Batman backdrop. It's violent, angry and dark. It also gives hope, and can be viewed as a testiment to human survival.

(that last paragraph was gay, sorry)

Here is what I really wanted to write about. I am the resident comic nerd to most of my friends and coworkers, I'm have been flooded with a copious amount of questions and theories in the 13 hours since I walked out of the theater. So allow me to break down my thoughts on the reoccuring topics:

(Again, if you haven't seen the movie and didn't listen to my origianl disclaimer...THIS IS ABSOLUTELY WHERE YOU NEED TO STOP READING)

First lets talk Bane: I loved Bane. Every part of him. The voice, the mask, the backstory. His enormous deltoids. Seriously, everything. There seems to be concern over 1) Banes voice and 2) Bane's acceptance of taking the role (as my brother describes it) "Glorified Body guard" in the movies conclusion.

I don't see it like that. The character Bane to me was Nolans' Darth Vader (even had breathing problems). He was big, intimadating and cunning. His delivery was patient and agressive at the same time. So when he turned out to be working for a higher power (if you want to call it that), I would argue that it was much the same as Star Wars introduction of the Emperor.

I know I'm going to get a lot of shit for bringing the comparison, but much like Heath Ledgers' Joker, Tom Hardy wasn't playing Bane. HE WAS BANE.

Maybe there is something to the idea of not ever seeing the full face of the actor in the movie. With the Joker, the face paint and scars obviously covered Heath Ledger and his leading man face. Even the brief moment when he is paint free, thats still NOT the same guy who played a Gay cowboy.

Hardy (who has donned the clean dome in a movie before) has half his face swallowed by a mask that is said to be keeping him alive. Basically from his eyes down is mask. The result: Gone is the angry brother from Warrior. Here is Bane, "Gothams Reckoning".

The most enjoyable parts of the movie, for me, were the fight scenes between Bane and Batman. First they clearly wanted to get a boner on every nerd in the audience because they lifted the back breaking move from the "Knightfall" cover in their first altercation. That got a fist pump out of me.

The second fight though, that was jaw dropping. There is a moment (I wish I could include video of it) where Bane starts to really lose his shit on Batman. He goes from throwing "aggressive movie punches" to "I think Christian Bale might actualy be in trouble" punches. Tom Hardy is no nancy. He starts throwing these bombs where I half expected Bale to break character, stop the scene, turn and scream, "What the hell, Tom? This is a movie. Chill out!" then retreat to his trailer for 3 days, sobbing, while he waits for an apology from an angry Tom Hardy.

Final verdict: He was awesome. Please feel obligated to agree with me.


Lets talk John Blake- or Robin- and why this works. I like this move mainly because Robin is as important to the Batman mythology as anyone. He has literally been there since day 1.That being said, I'll be the first to admit a 13 year old in tights would've derailed the series a little bit. Nolan just spent 8 years detailing how 'Batman' could exist in a realistic realm. A boy who is simultanously battling criminals and puberty would NOT have helped his case.

But Robin is still important. So how does one involve such an important character while combating the logistical issues that come with it?  Apparently the answer is this: you re-vision the conept of Robin. Sounds simple right?

Team Nolan did something I typically hate in my superhero movies. They took relatively radical creative liberties with a major character (ex: Cyclops dieing in X3, or Deadpool losing his abillity to talk in Wolverine. Or actually just those two movie abortions in general). And succeeded at it.

Nolan handled his "Robin" changes  with some obvious care. The character John Blake begins the movie as a rookie cop but gradually, and unknowingly, becomes Batman's apprentice. Serving as a mirror to what the "Robin" comic charater would be. Then of course you get the wink and nod at the end, by the big reveal that his biological name is Robin Blake and that is Chris Nolans way of screaming at everyone, "SEE! SEE WHAT I DID. I'M F**KING SMART!"

The idea of John Blake is smart. He has never been a Robin (the current list is: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown and Damien Wayne and I think there is another one). In fact, he isn't even a character period. But he isn't actually supposed to be a Robin, in the way that if the movie were to continue he would sport the green tights and fairy costume. No his Robin is only in the spirit that Batman see's him as a successor.

This liberty made me smile because though he was  completely fabricated for the purposes of the movie, his personallity and backstory was a nod to the 3 major Robins giving the comic nerds a chance to turn to their girlfriend (or wife's) and explain why that was well done.  John Blake was  Dick Grayson when he"quit". After the original Boy Wonder quit, he took on the title of Nightwing: a cop by day, crime fighter by night. That one is obvious.

Then there is Jason Todd. The angry one who was "killed" by the Joker when he was a teenager. Jason Todd was an orphan. John Blake mentioned his anger as a teenager being caused by his parents death and not having a healthy way of dealing with it. Check.

Lastly, the comics have given us Tim Drake. He who discovered Batman's identity before becoming Robin and lost his father to gambling issues. Both, traits John Blake shared.

And if you're like me and you want to take it even further, John is Dick Graysons middle name and "Blake" rhymes with "Drake".

Now the question I get is: So he is going to be "Robin"? No, he isn't going to be "Robin". He already IS Robin. If the movie were to continue he wouldn't be fighting crime with an 'R' on his chest. Robin is his first name. You don't chose a biological name as your secret identity. If I were a hero I would not be The Masked Andrew.

Also, the character "Robin" is a sidekick. Bruce Wayne is either dead (if you want to believe that Alfred was imagining it) or retired. There is no one to sidekick for. John Blake is now running the show.

No, he would go on to be Batman. Or Nightwing (the brief bat baptism at as he finds the cave would make me assume he would be Batman).

I'm not going to close this up by annoucning it's the best movie ever, or use any other hyperbole. I need to see it a few more times to start that argument. But I will say that it was an incredible finish to my favorite trilogy of movies.

Boy, I wonder whats next...?

Monday, July 23, 2012

Pour One Out

I'm sitting in the last of my four, hour long meetings that I've had today. My eye lids feel like they have sand bags weighing them down. I got an HR guy going through a presentation that I gave up on 25 minutes before this moment. I'm too busy spending all my energy fighting the urge to close my just one of my eyes. Maybe for a second I think to myself.

My phone vibrates, alerting me to a text message. The struggle between my brain and my eyes is now on hold as the text message has distracted the two battling parties. Who could it be? I wonder what it says? Nothing more world consuming for my imagination than a text message I can't immediately access.

After a few moments of pretending I could ignore it, I succomb to the seductive calls of my phones vibrations. As soon as the HR guy looked away, I eased my phone out of my pocket, and glanced at the message.

BW: ICHIRO HAS BEEN TRADED!!!

Cue the sound of my world shattering.

In all honesty, this should've happened last year. Maybe even the year before that. Shit, the Mariners all time hit leader (2533) theoretically could've been traded any time after 2007 and it would've made sense. The team was going no where, and Howard Lincoln and Chuck Armstrong (dickheads) aren't opperating a franchise in LA, Texas, Boston or New York. They run a team in Seattle. The logical plan is to be building a team with prospects, rather than playing the Free Agency game.

Over the last decade this team hasn't quite commited to a strategy. They pound their chest and say they want to spend wisely, but they give huge deals to Richie Sexson and Carlos Silva. Then they say they want to build with prospects, but trade immediate All Star shortstop Adsrubal Cabrerra to the Indians for Herpes.

The only constant with this team was it's steadfast refusal to consider dealing Ichiro.

Which was fine by me. In my fan lifetime the Mariners have traded away 3 first ballot hall of famers (ok 2, since A Rod will get the steroid bitch slap), and I was ok with letting the 4th play the whole career patrolling right field.

But his numbers were suffering. He was no longer racking up 230 hits in a single season. He was no longer running down gapped fly balls. He still looked like 2001 Ichiro, only if you replaced his cleets with cinderblocks. Basically, if he was a computer his descrease in speed would have me googeling free Anti Virus software.

The only thing that stayed consistant was his inabillity to get injured, which of course kept any potential prospects from getting a crack at demonstrating his talents.

All that is over now. The bandaid was ripped off and Ichiro is now the 4th 1st Ballot Hall of Famer to get traded by Howard Lincoln and Chuck Armstrongs (seriously, these two are giant Dickheads). Ichiro, the last Mariner to win MVP, is now a New York Yankee while he sits 447 hits away from 3000 ( a number he wants to get to). No matter how I have felt about his play the 18 months or so, I will miss Area 51.

Oh and on a serious note, if Ichiro gets to 3000 while wearing Pinstripes I'm going to eat a bullet.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Mariners: June in Review

11-16. 12 games under .500 for the season. Super.

I'm going to make this quick, because honestly, there isn't much to say other then " this is getting fucking old." Which is true, this whole " we can't hit the ball act" is getting old.


So here are some quick points in bullet fashion:
  • The Justin Smoak experiment might be coming to an end. He is batting .202 right now. He started every game except one this month and managed to put up 2 home runs and 5 rbi's. Oddly enough, he out performed his whole month of June in that Texas game back in May. I understand bad months happen, but he has never really had a good month. So maybe we let him ride out this season and look to upgrade a position which good clubs need good production from.
  • Atleast Chone isn't really playing anymore.
  • Kyle Seager came back to earth this month. He hit a very Smoakean .204. Hopefully he rebounds.
  • I'm not really sure why I called out Justin, you know other then he sucks. Brendan Ryan, and Miguel Olivo do too. Shoot, so do Dustin Ackley and Ichiro lately. This whole team just needs one big HgH shipment, stat.
  • Felix, The King of Diamonds, rebounded from a rough sample size in May and has once again returned to better than everyone else. Feel free to consult his pitching line two nights ago against Boston to confirm http://espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?gameId=320628112.
  • I think it's safe to say that Hector Noesi (2-10),  is not good at all. I can't wait to Denny Hultzen takes his place and I forget how to pronounce his last name.
  • Jason Vargas was off to a great start, but must've borrowed underwear from Chone Figgins cuz his last few starts have been horrendous. Look no further then his 30 innings, 25 runs, 11 home run stat line for the month of June. I would say he is a prime canidate to get traded at the deadline, but at this rate... who would want him?
Unless something drastic happens in the next couple weeks, we will be in full fledge Football/ Basketball Olympics mode by the end of next month. Here's praying I'm wrong.