Thursday, September 27, 2012

Week 4


Tuesday morning I woke up with a giant smile on my face. Seattle was 2-1 and for once was on the good end of a terrible call by an official. I wrote a quick thought, I posted a picture, and I went about my day. Smiling the whole time. I was in the minority. Fans outside of Seattle were foaming at the mouth. "What an injustice" they screamed. "Aaron Rodger's is a marter." They announced. "How dare the Seahawks not correct the officials ruling." They clammored.

My blood started to boil and I released a rant of my own. I was not about to sit back and allow my Chickens get drug through the mud because they were placed in an awkward situation. You want war, douchebags? I'll give you war.

Here is the scope of my rant (tightened up, of course)

I think its bush league the people are upset with the Seahawks over this. If you disagree with the call, feel free to be mad at the referee's. Or Roger Goodell and the owners. But the Seahawks? Please, grow up and learn a thing or two.

That is directed to everyone. Outraged players and fans alike. Green Bay Packers Guard Josh Sitton went onto "Rome" Tuesday morning to vent about being on the losing end of the call. At one point during the interview, Sitton took shots at wr Golden Tate and coach Pete Carroll by suggesting they should admit the call was wrong.

"I think the two biggest goats out of this whole thing is Pete Carroll and Golden Tate," Sitton told Jim Rome. "They're calling it a good call. And Golden Tate's saying he caught it and there was no push in the back. I mean, be a man. You can be happy you won the game. I understand that. Stuff's gonna happen. But be a man and admit that it was a bullshit call and stand up and have some integrity."


Seriously, bro? That is who you are mad at?

You want to put blame on Tate for doing his job? He fought for the ball, like he has been taught to do most of his life. And lets not ignore that there are pictures and angles that exist that actually support Tate having possession (ESPN won't show that though).

You're upset that he pushed the dude in the back on a hailmary? I know football wasn't your primary sport, so feel free to review some youtube videos of other hailmary attempts. Shoving happens. The officials (even the real ones) wouldn't have called pass interference on that in a million years.

And suggesting that Pete Carroll is wrong for sticking up for his players is even more retarded. What would you have Pete say, "Oh shit. Green Bay really got screwed on that one. I'm going to have to talk to Golden in the locker room about the rules of the game." Don't be nieve.

How ridiculous is that? To be upset with a coach and a player over a referee's call. They went into a dog fight and came out on top and you want the world wants them to openly discredit themselves by admitting they were given a gift. This is the real world. Not some mystical world of dragons and magical gum drop houses. Grow up and accept the loss. 

I don't remember a single instance of players or teams admitting they came out favorable in a bad call. When did Tom Brady admit to fumbling in the tuck rule game? I forget who asked the Steeler's to admit that the Seahawks got jobbed in '05. Remember when Vinny Testeverde didn't score that touchdown (also against the Seahawks) on a Quarterback sneak, but was given credit for the touchdown anyway and that helped keep Seattle out of the playoffs and eventually lead to the instillation of Instant Replay? I sure as shit do, but what I don't remember is people asking Vinny to admit that the referees were wrong.
 
It's unfortunate, sure. But it's not just the call that was unfortunate. It was the whole situation. It's the replacement officials being involved in the first place. I sure hope Josh Sitton doesn't expect Pete Carroll to apologize for the official lockout.

And lets not undersell WHO is responsible for this in the first place. The real guilty party is Roger Goodell and the Owners. They have put teams in these situations ( like the hailmary, or last night's Raven/Patriots clock expiring fieldgoal) by putting under qualified dudes out in high pressure situations. High School Chemistry teachers should not be policing professional football players. It's that simple. Roger Goodell is trying to strong arm Ed Hochuli and company, and thats why this has happened.

So the REAL goat, Mr. Sitton, are the guys who signs your paychecks (but you don't want to bite the hand that feeds you, I understand).

Look, should the Packer's and their fans be upset that they lost the game? Absolutely. I would've been. But don't stop at the call. They should also be upset that their offensive line gave up 8 sacks in the first half (and 9 for the game). They should also be furious that they weren't able to score at all in the first half. And while we are on the subject of poor referee calls that swayed the game, please don't forget that if it weren't for a phantom PI call, the Packers wouldn't have been in position to score ANY touchdowns.

Remember to be mad at that as well, Sitton and company.

Bascially, the brunt of the anger should be at the fact that your team held the seahawks to a shade over 150 yards for the first 58 minutes yet Seattle had a chance to win the game with a touchdown.

It's true after Monday, Packer fans have a lot to be upset with. But I assure you, it's nothing like getting jobbed in a superbowl. Stop bitching, it happens.

And Seahawk fans, remember to be thankful. 2-1 baby!

  • Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens -12 I have a theory that I have absolutely no stats to back it up, but here goes: if you are picking a game that features a team giving a ton of points immediately following a super emotional game against a team they should curb stomp, you pick the shittier team. That being said, I really think Baltimore is insanely good. But I'm going to test out my theory a few times this week. So I'm going with Cleveland.
  • San Diego Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs PK Uh, I'll take Kansas City at home with no points. That seems fair.
  • Tennessee Titans @ Houston Texans -13 1/2 Let's see, Tennessee gave up 90 yards to Steven Ridley, 130 to a montley crue of Chargers, and a 100 spot to Mikil Leshoure. Now they are playing Arian Foster and Ben Tate. Are you sure 13 1/2 is all you want?
  • Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons -8 Cam Newton embarrassed himself last Thursday. If he's a man, they'll cover. We are going to find out alot about Cam Newton on Sunday.
  • Seattle Seahawks @ St. Louis +2 1/2 Using an altered version of the argument I used to pick the Browns, I'm going to take St. Louis against my Chickens. This smells like one of those games where we lose and then I get to listen to talking heads scream, "see, they aren't that good." for a full week.
  • San Fransico 49ers @ New York Jets +4 My Cleveland/Baltimore theory was successful last week for the 9ers/Vikings game. No knock on SF, I just figured they'd come out flat. This week they won't. Have fun, Jet fans.
  • New England Patriots @ Buffalo Bills +4 Last week I figured the Patriots were going to make Baltimore pay for Arizona's sins. They almost did. Before last week, the last time they had lost two games in a row I was a virgin. Buffalo is 2-1, but they could be 15-0 and I would put my money on Tom and the Terrifics. Take the Patriots and Tom is going for 400+
  • Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions As of right now thee isn't a line to this game because of Mathew Staffords uncertainty.
  • Miami Dolphins @ Arizona Cardinals -5 1/2  This was JUST made official: Arizona is good.
  • Oakland Raiders @ Denver Broncos -7 I will take Oakland, thank you.
  • Cincinnatti Bengals @ Jacksonville Jaguars +1 This game has a 0 percent chance of making it on my tv this week. So, Bengals and lets move on.
  • Washington Redskins @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers - 1 I'm going to say Tampa, only because they're at home. As someone who has Alfred Morris on his fantasy team, I hope I'm wrong.
  • New Orleans Saints @ Green Bay Packers -9 You know how I just wrote like 1500 words about Green Bay and thier fans, REVENGE GAME.  Saints are about to get executed.
  • New York Giants @ Philadelphia Eagles PK I'm going to say Philly. Basically, I think New York likes hovering around .500.
  • Chicago Bears @ Dallas Cowboys -3 Blah. I dunno. Is Forte playing? Thats kind of important. ESPN just said Forte practiced yesterday, so I'm going to say Chicago and not feel good about it.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

That Final Call.

A Picture thats actually worth a 1000 words.
 
 
For those of you pretending to be up in arms about the winning TD last night, simmer down. It's the least the league could do for what happened to us in the Superbowl 8 years ago. It's not even that unjustifiable. You could argue that it was a simultanious catch.
 
I'm not saying it was, just that you could argue that point.
 
Fact is, those ref's were awful. And it wan'ts just on that play. The game was littered with phantom pass interfences, questionable late hit's, and an assortment of unintelligible judgements. Go back and youtube Kam Chancelors' PI call. That was clean. It also saved Green Bay's drive that ended with their soul touchdown. So before you get righteous on the Seattle Screwjob (as some on the Twitters have called) why don't you pump your breaks and do some rewatching.
 
The replacement ref's are bad. They have turned 2 and half hour games into 4 hour life decisions. They have swayed the outcome on a couple games (Batlimore/Philly, New England/Baltimore, Washington/St. Louis, etc) so lets not start pounding chests like this is a travesty. We knew this was coming. It had to.
 
 Maybe this will serve as the agent of change for Goodell to finally pull his head out of his ass and bring back Hochuli and co. I hope so. I'm tired of waiting 4 minutes between plays while these 7th grade science teachers and JV football coaches bumble their way through these calls. They're actually hurting your game, Roger.
 
Will the ref's be back next week? Probably not. We'll probably see this same crew running a 1:00 et start time in Buffalo while Hochuli sits at home and crushes out another 100 push up's just in case. Goodell has got to  break the ref's like he broke the players. It's all about the dollar.
 
In the meantime we'll gladly be 2-1, thank you very much.
 


Thursday, September 20, 2012

Week 3 and the AP Press Release

NEW YORK (AP)- New Player Safety rules maybe amended by the National Football League as soon as this afternoon, according to sources close to league sources.
 

The new rules, which are expected to be passed by dictator commissioner Roger Goodell, would effectively eliminate most contact within a football game by adopting rules set forth by the American Flag Football Association of America.
 
Goodell, who has long since declaired his intention to ruin clean up the NFL of dangerous physicallity, has long been rumored to be in favor of eliminating tackling all together.
 
The rule change has gained momentum following the hit WR Golden Tate applied to engaged LB Sean Lee, during Seattle's win over the Dallas Cowboys. A hit that has been classified by the League as a 'blindside hit' and will cost the wide reciever $21,000 dollars, despite not being called for a penalty.
 
Following the game, Tate took to twitter to justify protecting his Quarterback from the persuing defender. "I hope Sean Lee is ok. I never have intentions on injuring another player. It's football which means its physical. (A) Dirty hit would be if I went for his head or neck area."
 
Even Sean Lee, who was medically cleared to return to action after a few plays, didn't seem to have too much a problem with the hit. “That’s part of the deal,” Lee said following the 27-7 loss. He went on to add, “ I bet you if we went head-to-head and square up he probably won’t be celebrating as much. It’s part of the deal and part of football, and hits like that happen.”
 

Sexy.
When Goodell ratifies the new rule change, it is expected to be implimented as quickly as this week. However, it is believed that no one will be told until Sunday, when someone gets flagged randomly for performing previoulsy acceptable actions.

Like running.


 
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 Now, on to the picks. Althought I should probably stop there, because last week I went 0-2 in fantasy and 6-10 against the spread. If week 3 continues to be bad, I'm bringing in relief for next week. ( Picks in Red)
  • New York Giants @ Carolina Panthers -1 1/2 Because it wouldn't be a Giants season without Tom Coughlin almost getting fired.
  • Buffalo Bills @ Cleveland Browns + 2 1/2 I was going to take the Bills. Then I remember they aren't good and Trent Richardson might be.
  • San Fransico 49ers @ Minnesota Vikings +7 Huge win on Sunday night for SF. That usually translates to a team like Minnesota hanging around longer than they should the next week.
  • Detroit Lions @ Tennessee Titans + 3 1/2 I feel like the Lions should run the Titans by 15 here.
  • Cincinnati Bengals @ Washington Redskins -3 I'll take the Washington crowd during their home opener, thank you.
  • Kansas City Chiefs @ New Orleans Saints -8 1/2 This is the last week. You hear me, Saints? The last fucking week. You don't blow these dudes out of the water, I'm trading Brees off my fantasy team's and riding against you the rest of the season.
  • New York Jets @ Miami Dolphis +2 1/2 Reggie Bush has 6 straight games of atleast 100 yards from scrimmage. Thats the longest in the NFL in that time (Thank you, Mathew Berry).
  • Jacksonville Jaguars @ Indianapolis Colts -3 Andrew Luck > Blaine Gabbert
  • Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Dallas Cowboys -8 Am I the only one that saw Tampa put up 34 against New York last week and thought "these guys really don't suck?" Because getting 8 points against the Cowboys would suggest I am. I still think Romo is good,but Tampa is going to cover.
  • St. Louis Rams @ Chicago Bears -7 1/2 In Chicago, following 10 days of every calling Cutler a bum? I actually expect a good Cutler game. The Ram's might be decent though. Ram's cover.
  • Philadelphia Eagles @ Arizona Cardinals +3 The Eagles should be 0-2. Arizona has beat 2 good teams. Michael Vick likes to throw picks and Arizona likes to recieve picks. ARIZONA GOES 3-0.
  • Pittsburgh Steelers @ Oakland Raiders +4 Oakland, you broke my heart last weekend. Now the Steelers will break your backs.
  • Houston Texans @ Denver Broncos PK How brutal was Peyton Manning last week? He literally did just enough to beat me in one of my fantasy leagues while simultaniously costing me the game in my other league. I have never been so mad at a player in my life. This is a total spite pick.
  • New England Patriots @ Baltimore Ravens -2 1/2 Look, I'm heavily invested into the 2012 Patriots. They need to win for my sake.
  • Green Bay Packers @ Seattle Seahawks +3 My stepmom is from Wisconsin and her whole family are Packers fans. Typically, I love them all. But this is not a typical situation. This is Monday Night Football. We beat the Packers and I have a throbing boner for 6 days. This is bigger then family. THIS IS WAR!

Friday, September 14, 2012

Tony Romo and the Inaccurate Scope of his Criticism

"Tony Romo is a Fucking bum."

As a fan of our nation's favorite sport, how many times have you heard this statement (or something to this effect)? Better question: how many times since August started have you heard this? That might make it easier to track.

The last time I heard it was this morning while driving to work. I was catching up on "The Adam Carolla Show" from last Tuesday (prior to the Giants-Cowboys game) with Brandon Steiner as the guest. For those of you who don't know (I imagine all of you fall under this category) this dude makes his money by selling sports memorabilia. He's  a New York guy. Specifically, he is in the Giants/Yankees camp.
 
The Cowboys/Giants game came up and this guy interjects some comment along the line of, "they don't have a quarterback" when asked why the Giants would win. Normally, I would just roll my eyes and make a mental comment about how dumb New Yorkers are; but I was litterally raging about this topic a few days ago so it's almost like the universe is asking me to take a stand.
 
And stand I will.
 
Because this notion that Tony Romo is not a good Quarterback is complete, and utter bull hooey. Infact, I suggest that if you are ever in a situation where someone tries to interject this as an opinion; you consider it your obligation as a red blooded american to beat the  shit out of them and make them apologize. 
 

Once and for all: Romo has not been the problem.
Tony Romo is many things (Jessica Simpson ex boyfriend, Carrie Underwood's ex boyfriend, Eastern Illinois Alumni etc) but a "bad Quarterback" is no where near that list.
 
Unlike those douche bags who fling recklace opinions to and fro all willy nilly, I like to ground my arguements in a little something called "proof". First, let me throw this out: Bad Quarterbacks exsist on bad teams. The only time a Romo lead team finished under .500 was the season he only played in 6 games. So, there.
 
But thats not going to be good enough, I understand. After all, Fantasy Football is king in this town. My arguement needs stats. Lucky for all of you, I have come prepared. Fasten your seatbelts.
 
Including last week, the Romosapian has started 78 games as the QB of the Dallas Cowboys. In those starts, he has compiled a yard's-td-int stat line of 20,879-149-70.  Using Eli as a comparison (divison rival. Romo's week 1 match up. The QB of Brandon Steiner's Giant team that made him feel confident enough to call Romo a bad QB) He has racked up 27,726-186-129 in 120 games. 42 more games, 37 more touchdowns.
 
I don't think I need to tell you that Romo's per game averages are better( and obviously his per/16 game stats are better).  But I should highlight that there are two factors skewing these stats outside of Eli's 42 additonal starts. 1, Romo missed 10 games in 2010. Through those six games he was completeing a curly hair under 70 percent of his pass attempts. Who knows what kind of magic he would've thrown up that year. And 2, Eli just gave his career average's HgH last year by dumping almost 5000 yards in a pass happy offense. If you really wanted to see how awesome Romonucleosis career has been so far, you should just  just compare the two through the first 78 games of Eli's career.
 
Actually lets do that, while expanding at the same time. By my count there are 6 QB's heading to Canton as soon as they hang up their cleets. Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Ben Rothlisburger, Eli Manning and (baring a catestrophic injury) Aaron Rodgers (Aaron hasn't played in 78 games yet thanks to Favre, so lets just ignore him for the rest of the arguement).
 
  • Drew Brees:  17,479-109-73
  • Tom Brady:  18,029-123-66
  • Peyton Manning: 20,107-134-98
  • Eli Manning:  16,190-110-80
  • Ben Rothlisberger:  16,860-110-73
So Eli, armed with his 2 superbowl rings, is considered a future Hall of Fame QB. Ben Rothlisberger with his 2 rings, same boat. And rightfully so for both. They're legacies are not on trial here. Drew Brees, armed with his 1 ring and the greatest Passing Season of all time. And Brady and Manning will be forever locked into the death match for Greatest QB of All Time arguement.
 
Yet here is Romo who has compiled better stats then all of them. Through 78 games. So why does Romo get all the heat and none of the praise?
 
There are actually a couple different factors that have caused the hating of the Romocoaster. 1, he plays for one of the 5 most covered team's in sports. They were unquestionably the most covered team in the NFL prior to this offseason, but took a backseat due to bounties, neck surgeries and Tebow. Since 2006, we have had a severe over saturation of the Cowboys Quarterback.
 
2. That (lovely, wonderful, glorious, magestic, perfect) botched field goal hold against Seattle in 2006. Romo seemed like he was the answer to the "When is Dallas going to replace Aikman" question that they had been asking for half a decade at that point. Then he muffed a hold and everything became murky. The third reason, his famous ex girlfriends. I've never seen him try and complete a 15 yard out to Jessica Simpson (maybe that's because she's built like a tackle?) so this should be a non issue.
 
The fourth, which ties into the fifth: he doesn't have a signature win and he doesn't have a ring. Think back to Romo's biggest win of his career. Seriously, whats his most important win? This is where the Romo hate gets it's steam. All those HoF Qb's I listed up there have wins that we can look back and say, "remember when Peyton rallied the Colts in the AFC championship game" or "remember Big Ben's final drive in Superbowl XLIII?"  and they all have rings. Romo doesn't have one of those. Yet.
 
How would you feel about Romo if he were in this picture?
(editor note: using the 78 start's bench mark again, only Brady, Rodgers and Big Ben had rings. All three have won all their championships before the 78 game marker. Moving on.
 
What he does have is an ass load of positive fantasy numbers while leading the NFL's craziest reality show (this is not an argueable point: his most talent WR has a professional baby sitter). What he does do is keep his head low, his hat backwards, and his moutshut; while he pray's to whoever he pray's to that somebody on his line will block a blitzing linebacker. Dallas isn't neccesarily talent starved (especially at WR) but they do consistantly lack depth at positions aimed to keep their franchise QB alive.
 
I read an article last year (I wish I saved the link, but it was too ridiculous at the time) asking if Dallas should move on from Romo. It upsets me to think that people honestly feel like Romosexual is the problem with this franchise. He isn't. He is the brighspot. His numbers put him in the conversation of future HoF. Go back and re-read the stat comparisons with Brady and the Mannings.
 
Through 78 games, Romo's numbers say he belongs in the ellite conversation's. Unfortunately, his lack of jewelry gives the ignorate masses amunition to ignore those claims. The solution for #9 is simple though, he has to win. Anthony Romo win's one Superbowl, and as if he rattled of a string of hailmary's, all will be forgotten.
 
But he's got to get something out of his teammates to do that. No team has ever won a superbowl with one player.
 
But one player can sure get a shit load of the blame. 
 
 
 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Week 2 Picks

Last week, for lack of a better word, sucked. It sucked for my fantasy teams. It sucked for my real life team. It really sucked for my picks against the spread column. Basically, my wife could've handled all my football related affairs last weekend and I would've had a more productive weekend.

Except my Sanchez pick is off to a good start. That one made me smile (even though I didn't really buy into my own bs... as I picked Buffalo to beat the Jets last week).

Picks in Red.
  • Chicago @ Green Bay (-5) Do I think Green Bay will fall 0-2? No. Do I think Green Bay can stop Matt Forte from having a good game? Again, no. So, do I think Green Bay will cover? I do not. Moving on.
  • Arizona @ New England (-14) Despite Seattle losing to Arizona last week, I still think they suck. Tom Brady is going to leave behind scorched earth this weekend, which is going to shit all over my Seattle week 1 loss justification "Arizona had a really good defense"
  • Oakland @ Miami (+3) Miami blows. Oakland will run this to 10.
  • Minnesota @ Indianapolis (+ 1 1/2) Adrian Peterson did NOT blow out his ACL last year. He got a hang nail and was tired of running into 8 man fronts. Thats the only way to explain how he has come back to the point where he is now. Healthy (ish) AP is > Colts.
  • Houston @ Jacksonville (+ 7 1/2) This game sucks. Jacksonville covers.
  • Cleveland @ Cinncinati (-7) I mean they ARE divison rivals. One would hope Cleveland can keep it within a touchdown. If not, please start warming up that rotator cuff, mr. McCoy.
  • Kansas City @ Buffalo (-3) Buffalo took a huge ass whoopin' from the Jets and I can't even remember the name of the Reciever who caught the two touchdowns. That being said, me picking KC is more about me hoping Dexter McCluster goes ape shit, and less about Buffalo and how they looked last week.
  • Balitmore @ Philladelphia (-3) Philly should be getting 3 points, not giving. In fact, I'm 70 % sure I wrote this down wrong. Hold on. Holy shit, I wrote it down right. Baltimore, all day.
  • New Orleans @ Carolina (+3) I'm not overly prepared to write New Orleans off, and Carolina can't remember where they put their running game. Again, unfortunately for BOTH MY FANTASY TEAMS.
  • Tampa Bay @ New York Giants (-7) Tampa can run a little bit, pass a little bit and defend a little bit. I'm sure they can stay in this game.
  • Dallas @ Seattle (+3) Seattles going to win. So, there.
  • Washington @ St. Louis (+3) I guess St. Louis looked improved. Best player on the field is wearing a Redskins jersey though.
  • Tennessee @ San Diego (-6) San Diego should win, but I don't see them winning by a touchdown.
  • New York @ Pittsburgh (-6) If the NFL season were a game of horse, last weeks Sanchez game was some insane behind the backboard, blindfolded bull shit of a shot. There is a good chance he tried that shot to be funny, only it happened to go in. However, there is also a good shot he stays outside and practices shots like that. So, Mark, prove it.
  • Detroit @ San Francisco (-7) Lets do some more math. Green Bay is better than Detroit. San Francisco is better than Green Bay. Detroit is on the road where they are going to be able to run the ball less than normal. This equates to San Fransisco, handily.
  • Denver @ Atlanta (-3) I have no reasons for this. I'm just going to take the home team and pray Peyton has a set back.
Lets hope I'm better than last week. I sure as shit couldn't be any worse.


Monday, September 10, 2012

Pump Your Breaks, Cardinals

First lets address the Gurilla in the room: You needed Kevin Kolb to shake off his frowny face, and comeplete 6 of 8 balls on a fourth quarter drive to beat us. So, good job there guys. You needed lightening to strike 6 time in order to squeak out a win at home.

You barely beat us, while we are starting a 3rd round Quarterback. I'm not using that qualifer to justify his lackluster 1st half, more as a tool to take away from your win. So suck it, douchebags. He is going to be great, I assure you. You beating him, at home, week 1 before your team has been mathmatically eliminated from exsisting is not something to beat your meat about.

"Sit down, Arizona. You guys suck."
Yes, you're 1-0. We are 0-1. But next week you'll still be starting John Skelton or Kevin Kolb and we will not be. Next week we'll have Marshawn Lynch. The same guy who torched you for 89 yards despite being shelved up with a stiff back for the better part of the last month. We get Beast Mode, you get Beanie. Seriously, are you in a better position than us? 16 weeks from now we will be the team in the playoffs while you are reading prospect scouting reports. But lets not get ahead of ourselves.

Right now, I'm all about yesterday. Yesterday I went 5-8 in my picks (6-8 with Wednesday game included). Yesterday, I lost both my fantasy games (a huuuge Fuck you to Carolina's playcalling, Rashad Jennings knee and ofcourse, Adrian Peterson and the Minnesota Vikings). And to top it off, after a week of relentless trashing talking over the interwebs, my beloved Chickens got off to a less than ideal start.

It happens. Hopefully never again, but it does. Here are some things we can hang our hat on as Seahawk fans: 1, Russell Wilson didn't play good. He played ok. His first game was a solid outting considering the circumstances (first professional game, on the road, division rival, Patrick Patterson, etc). But that games was far from good. He seemed timid. Especially in the first half. Granted, Lynch took forever to warm up and Russell was limited to 9 passes in the first half. But they weren't a quality 9 passes.

The second half he seemed to settle in. The Sideny Rice touchdown was gorgeous. He looked off 4 different recieiving options before going back to Sidney across the middle. 20 dollars says Tavaris Jackson was sitting in Buffalo, saw the highlight of that play and said, "ooooh, thats how you do it."

In fact, lets continue talking about Seattle's freshly minted QB 1. Yesterday his first half was not good. He looked like a rookie (atleast, how a rookie should look. Thanks RGIII for making everyone else look bad). But in the second half, he made plays when he had to. And I gotta say, there is something about the dude that inspires confidence. Even through a tv screen.

Russell Wilson had a rough game, yet I feel supremely confident in his abillity to lead this team. There is something about him that put me at ease during that drive. Something I never felt during the Hasselbeck era (despite how much I loved Matty Hass). I honestly feel like if that drive was replayed 9 more times, the result would end in a touchdown on atleast 8 of them.

Last night as the last drive was happening, I fired off a text to my brother, " The Legend of Russell begins right now." Obviously, the drive didn't result in a win. But I still believe in that message.



The other take from yesterday: our defense wasn't running on full blast. It was like they couldn't find a way to shift to 5th gear. Or 4th for that matter. They seemed slower than they did in preseason. I mean the usual suspects were solid. Chris Clemons had a sack. Red Bryant erased any hope for an Arizona run game, and swated a John Skelton pass like Dikembe used to destroy set shots. And the Richard Sherman pick was beeeeaaauuuutttiiiifffuuuullll.

Outside of that, even the Hurricane seemed unimpressive.

Next week is a different story. Seattle will open up home against Dallas. People are riding the "Dallas might be good" bandwagon after their Wednesday win, so naturally you take Seattle in that one.


This is called a handoff, Carolina.
As for fantasy, my one week marriage with DeAngleo Williams and the Carolina Panthers will hopefully  be over. I just can't rely on a team that neglegent with their playcalling. Seriously, if I were a Panther fan right now I would have the worst hangover ever.

Drew Brees was getting some early chatter for a possible run at 6,000 yards. If that defense plays like they did against RGIII, I don't see how thats going to be a problem. That defense is so bad he will probably be looking at 50 attempts a game. In other words, DROP MARK INGRAM NOW.

Lastly, how great was it to have Randy Moss and Peyton Manning back in our lives? Randy Moss is, and will always be one of my all time favorite players. He was my first jersey. I loved the highlights, and when I got older, I loved the douchy comments. I'm happy that he is back for a retirment tour. His td catch, especially being in Lambau, brought a smile to my face. Unfortunately, that smile was shit on immidiately after that, because  the rest of that 49ers/Packers game featured a slew of players that I was matched up against in my Fantasy leagues ( a special thank you to Frank Gore, who when is not torching the Seahawks in reallife, aparently likes to forget he is 29 and should be considering retirment).


And to the Middle Manning Child, who reminded everyone that he doesn't need his cannon arm to be a football Savant. He is a top-3 QB of all time, and didn't deserve to go out with a neck issue. I want Peyton to go out on his own terms. He deserves it. So watching 18 do what he does like he hadn't missed a full year was delightful.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Week 1

Wednesday night was a little slice of heavan. I ditched the gym and told my wife in no uncertain terms, "hunny, I'm getting a burrito and watching every snap of the Dallas/NY game." Now I'm not a Giants fan. And I certainly don't favor the star. But I needed football.

So what happened? I went to Qudoba, and hooked up some Tortilla soup and a Queso burrito. I went to 7/11 and bought a Mountain Dew (I'm constantly trying to quite drinking soda. The only thing that accomplishes is forcing me to drive to a gas station when ever I want one).  I got home just as the ball was being placed on the tee for the opening kick. It was magestic. I couldn't duplicate that timing again if I wanted to.


I'm all in.
Following that game (in which I picked Dallas, so  this season is off to a good start), armed with a full belly, I laid in bed with my mind racing through an entire universe of thoughts. Is Dallas good (possibly)? Are the Giants bad (hell no, they always lose games they should win)? Why is John Pierre Paul not fighting crime (he should. Scary M-F)? It was so lovely to have football back in my life again.

Then Thursday morning happen, and the crulest joke the world could play on me was played. I realized we had four day's till the Seahawks kicked off their year. FOUR  FREAKING DAYS. Are you kidding right now, NFL? That is absolutely on par with your lady giving you a boner, then falling asleep with out allowing you to finish. Just mean spirited.

Today was a little more manigable. Read some Russell "The Love Muscle" Wilson fluff pieces, checked my fantasy team about 700 times, and solicited all my Cardinal fan friends into some harmful shittalking. All in day's work, really.
 
Tonight, I have the night to myself so I'm going to play Madden till my eyes bleed. In the mean time, I'm still at work so lets pound out some odd's (I'll bold my picks)
  • Atlanta @ Kansas City (+ 2 1/2) I mean, Atlanta needs to look strong here, right? They need to get people back on their band wagon so they can break peoples hearts again in January.
  • Philladelphia @ Cleveland (+11) Lets get this straight. I think Cleveland sucks. I also subscribe to the theory that there are mystical forces that hate the city of Cleveland (I'm not prepared to say that God himself hates Cleveland...But someone important does). So what would hurt worse? A Eagles shit kicking or a game where Brandon Weeden keeps the score close only to get his knee blown out next week? I'll take the 2nd option, thank you. 
  • Washington @ New Orleans (-9) If you tune in on Sunday and Drew Brees is hovering around 500 yards passing please realize he is having a Waterboy moment and everyone on Washington's team looks like Roger Goodell.
  • New England @ Tennessee (+5 1/2) I love Jake Locker. However, I REALLY love Tom Brady. I'm sorry Jake, we'll talk again next week.
  • Miami @ Houston (-13) Only because in week 1 bad teams hang out with good teams. That being said, if Ben Tate and Arian Foster combine for 320 yards rushing just know that I'm not going to be that upset about it.
  • Buffalo @ New York Jets ( - 2 1/2) I know I'm not down on Sanchez, but obviously Tebow has mystical powers.
  • Jacksonville @ Minnesota (-3 1/2) LETS GO TO-BY. CLAP CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
  • Indianapolis @ Chicago (-11) Here is your chance Andrew Luck, prove me wrong. 
  • Los Angles St. Louis @ Detroit (-8 1/2) Yeah, good one.  I would've taken Detroit if they were hanging Oregon points.
  • San Francisco @ Green Bay (-5) Welcome back to the middle, SF.
  • Carolina @ Tampa Bay (+1) Remember how Josh Freeman doesn't actually suck.  New coach, home team? Yeah, they'll win.
  • Seattle @ Arizona (- 2 1/2) Russell may struggle at first, but after Hurricane Earl takes a ball back to the house this game is going to get UGLY.
  • Pittsburgh @ Denver ( -1) Big Ben is gonna get dry humped all night. He may need neck surgery afterwards. I'm sure Peyton could suggest a good surgeon.
  • Cincinatti @ Baltimore (-7 1/2) Logic would tell me Baltimore is going to win big. But this is week 1, and Monday Night Football where nothing ever happens how it should.
  • San Diego @ Oakland ( pick 'em) Because I had to pick somebody.
Get some.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

NFL: The 2012 Preview

2 and a half hours till kickoff and I still haven't done any type of NFL preview post. How is that possible? Is it because I don't know what I'll say? Shit, I never know what I'm going to say. So that can't be it. Is it because I haven't done my homework? Again, please. I'm two fantasy drafts in. I'm practically in midseason form.

So why haven't I started it yet? Well, for starters I'm lazy. Actually, scratch the starters. Thats the whole reason. I haven't written this yet, because two nights ago my wife gave me permission to buy Madden. Down goes the laptop, up comes the joy sticks.

But I'm at work right now, 15 miles away from my xbox. Sounds like the best possible time to pound out some predictions.

First, lets do the divisions:

NFC West- Seahawk, 49ers, Ram's, Cardinals
NFC East- Eagles, Giants, Cowboys, Redskins
NFC South- Falcons, Panthers, Saints, Buc's (although that division so screwy it could literally reverse order)
NFC North- Packers, Bears, Lions, Vikings

Wild Card: Giants and Bears

AFC West- Broncos, Raiders, Chargers, Cheifs
AFC East- Patriots, Bills, Jets, Dolphins
AFC South- Houston, Tennessee, Indi, Jacksonville
AFC North- Ravens, Bengals, Steelers, Browns

Wild Cards
Bengals and Raiders

Superbowl: Ravens over Eagles ( I was originally going to put Patriots over Philly, but I really want to be different and leave the door open for me ripping my shirt off and pounding my chest in celebration. Stand by)

 For shits and giggles, here is a quick prediction for the Born Winner:

NFC WEST- Seattle
NFC East- Giants
NFC South- Falcons
NFC North- Green Bay

Wild Card- Chicago  and Philly

AFC West- Denver
AFC East- Patriots
AFC South- Indi (Seriously, he said that. Bold move, for a bold man)
AFC North- Steelers

Wild Card- Bengals and Chargers

Superbowl- Patriots over Chicago

Here are some other things to watch out for:
  • Tom Brady is going to be awesome. There is a reason I killed a man to get him on my fantasy team. I fully believe Brandon Lloyd is going to do a poor man's Randy Moss impression. Plus, he still has a contract starved Wes Welker, and a freshly paid Aaron Hernandez and Gronk.
  • Russell Wilson is going to win Rookie of the Year.
  • Toby Garhart is going to play ALOT more than the Vikings would like. Toby Garhart is not a bad running back. Toby Garhart is going to make ALOT of money for himself this year.
  • Mark Sanchez is going to be better, but it won't matter. That decision has been made. The Jets are going to suck and Tebow is going to take over. Mark Sanchez, QB of the Los Angles Jaguires.
  • If Darren McFadden stays healthy, he leads the league in rushing and Oakland wins 9 games.
  • Calvin Johnson is going to top last season
  • Arian Foster is not.
  • The Saints are going to struggle. Right, I mean they don't have a coach.
  • Well, they still have Drew Brees. Hand to God if that team wins 8 games Drew Brees should rip off his jersey and walk RIGHT into Canton.
  • Peyton Manning is going to toss 30 touchdowns and Eric Decker is going to be a house hold name.
  • Romo is going to toss 4000 yrds + again. However, since he is still the Quarterback for the Cowboys people will disect his game like he threw 28 picks.
  • Dez Bryant is going to go ape shit this year. By November, we will all be sick of the "sercurity team has lead to maturity" stories surrounding Bryant and his huge season.
  • Larry Fitzgerald is going to be responsible for the death of John Skelton.
  • Ray Rice, MVP.
There, I'm on record.  Lets do this damn thing.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Mariners: August in Review

What an August. This month we saw the 1 step forward, 1.5 steps back Seattle Mariners continued their frustrating dick tease of a 2012 season.

  • Felix: he won 4 of his 5 starts, posting a 1.08 era. He had three (COUNT THEM THREE!!!) 1-0 shutouts including the August 15th Perfecto. He now has the city of Seattle and the Cy Young race by the balls. All Hail the King.
  • On the flipside, Justin Vargas was not good. After winning the July Pitcher of the Month award, the dude went awol. In 5 starts, he went 1-2 with a 5.12 era and is responsible for a broken tv remote in my apartment.
  • Justin Smoak got called back up thanks to another Mike Carp injury. His time in Triple A did him no good. Mr. Smoak, who batted .196 in his 51 at-bats since being recalled, has struck out more then his actual base hits this season. Alot more. He has 98strike outs compared to his 75 hits.
  • Dustin Ackley seemed to turn it around a bit. After turning in a lovely .173 average for July, he hit .257 (including 3 homeruns) in August. Lets hope he can get hot in September.
  • Seager (.244 w/ 4 home runs) Montero (.233 w/ 4 home runs) and Jaso (.266 w/ 3 home runs). Thats the middle of our lineup. No jokes needed.
  • Brenden Ryan continues his quest to be an every day shortstop who bats under the Mendoza line for a full season. With 1 month to go, he is currently at .195.
How this team went 15-12, is beyond me. Actually,  scratch that. They sent Felix to the mount every 5th day. So that helps. But seriously, lets send up a flair. We need some help in this batting order. Or atleast some HGH.

The worst part about it: you don't hear about hitting prospects with this team. Two years ago, we had Smoak and Ackley to think about. Now all you hear about is Zito, Hudson, Mulder jr that we have in Hultzen, Wagner and Paxton. Where the hell is our hitters? How can one organization be THIS bad at developing hitters. Even Pittsburgh had developed Alverez and McCutcheon.

The Seattle Mariners have not developed and kept a solid major league hitter since Alex Rodriguez. All the other good ones have been involved in illadvised, short sided deals. That list is fairly long: Adsrubal Cabrera, Shin-Shoo Choo, Jose Cruz, Adam Jones etc.

On The brighside, Football is 9 days away. I do love this team. Despite the struggles they have kept me involved. Which says alot. But there are issue that can't continue to be ignored. Jack, you got some work to do, brother.