Pour One Out

I'm sitting in the last of my four, hour long meetings that I've had today. My eye lids feel like they have sand bags weighing them down. I got an HR guy going through a presentation that I gave up on 25 minutes before this moment. I'm too busy spending all my energy fighting the urge to close my just one of my eyes. Maybe for a second I think to myself.

My phone vibrates, alerting me to a text message. The struggle between my brain and my eyes is now on hold as the text message has distracted the two battling parties. Who could it be? I wonder what it says? Nothing more world consuming for my imagination than a text message I can't immediately access.

After a few moments of pretending I could ignore it, I succomb to the seductive calls of my phones vibrations. As soon as the HR guy looked away, I eased my phone out of my pocket, and glanced at the message.

BW: ICHIRO HAS BEEN TRADED!!!

Cue the sound of my world shattering.

In all honesty, this should've happened last year. Maybe even the year before that. Shit, the Mariners all time hit leader (2533) theoretically could've been traded any time after 2007 and it would've made sense. The team was going no where, and Howard Lincoln and Chuck Armstrong (dickheads) aren't opperating a franchise in LA, Texas, Boston or New York. They run a team in Seattle. The logical plan is to be building a team with prospects, rather than playing the Free Agency game.

Over the last decade this team hasn't quite commited to a strategy. They pound their chest and say they want to spend wisely, but they give huge deals to Richie Sexson and Carlos Silva. Then they say they want to build with prospects, but trade immediate All Star shortstop Adsrubal Cabrerra to the Indians for Herpes.

The only constant with this team was it's steadfast refusal to consider dealing Ichiro.

Which was fine by me. In my fan lifetime the Mariners have traded away 3 first ballot hall of famers (ok 2, since A Rod will get the steroid bitch slap), and I was ok with letting the 4th play the whole career patrolling right field.

But his numbers were suffering. He was no longer racking up 230 hits in a single season. He was no longer running down gapped fly balls. He still looked like 2001 Ichiro, only if you replaced his cleets with cinderblocks. Basically, if he was a computer his descrease in speed would have me googeling free Anti Virus software.

The only thing that stayed consistant was his inabillity to get injured, which of course kept any potential prospects from getting a crack at demonstrating his talents.

All that is over now. The bandaid was ripped off and Ichiro is now the 4th 1st Ballot Hall of Famer to get traded by Howard Lincoln and Chuck Armstrongs (seriously, these two are giant Dickheads). Ichiro, the last Mariner to win MVP, is now a New York Yankee while he sits 447 hits away from 3000 ( a number he wants to get to). No matter how I have felt about his play the 18 months or so, I will miss Area 51.

Oh and on a serious note, if Ichiro gets to 3000 while wearing Pinstripes I'm going to eat a bullet.

Mariners: June in Review

11-16. 12 games under .500 for the season. Super.

I'm going to make this quick, because honestly, there isn't much to say other then " this is getting fucking old." Which is true, this whole " we can't hit the ball act" is getting old.


So here are some quick points in bullet fashion:

• The Justin Smoak experiment might be coming to an end. He is batting .202 right now. He started every game except one this month and managed to put up 2 home runs and 5 rbi's. Oddly enough, he out performed his whole month of June in that Texas game back in May. I understand bad months happen, but he has never really had a good month. So maybe we let him ride out this season and look to upgrade a position which good clubs need good production from.
• Atleast Chone isn't really playing anymore.
• Kyle Seager came back to earth this month. He hit a very Smoakean .204. Hopefully he rebounds.
• I'm not really sure why I called out Justin, you know other then he sucks. Brendan Ryan, and Miguel Olivo do too. Shoot, so do Dustin Ackley and Ichiro lately. This whole team just needs one big HgH shipment, stat.
• Felix, The King of Diamonds, rebounded from a rough sample size in May and has once again returned to better than everyone else. Feel free to consult his pitching line two nights ago against Boston to confirm http://espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?gameId=320628112.
• I think it's safe to say that Hector Noesi (2-10),  is not good at all. I can't wait to Denny Hultzen takes his place and I forget how to pronounce his last name.
• Jason Vargas was off to a great start, but must've borrowed underwear from Chone Figgins cuz his last few starts have been horrendous. Look no further then his 30 innings, 25 runs, 11 home run stat line for the month of June. I would say he is a prime canidate to get traded at the deadline, but at this rate... who would want him?

Unless something drastic happens in the next couple weeks, we will be in full fledge Football/ Basketball Olympics mode by the end of next month. Here's praying I'm wrong.

MockDraft 2012

Yeah I read that too.  I think the draft could look like this though:

 

• New Orleans selects Anthony Davis
• Charlotte trades the pick to Cleveland for the 4 and 24. Cleveland takes Brad Beal
• Washington takes Thomas Robinson
• Charlotte takes Harrison Barnes
• Sac trades the 5 to Detroit for Tayshaun Prince and the 9. Detroit takes Andre Drummond
• PDX drafts Lillard.

• Golden State - Michael Gilcrest Kidd

• Toronto shocks people and take Dion Waiters

• Sacremento takes John Henson

• New Orleans trades the 10 to Boston for the 21 and 22. Boston prepares for the interenet blowing up by drafting Austin Rivers

• Portland gets Meyers Leonard

• Houston selects Tyler Zeller

• Phoenix takes Jeremy lamb
• Millwauakee Terence Jones

• Philly selects Arnet Moultiere

 

• Houston is like WTF do we do with these picks? As they weren’t able to get the top 10’s to swing DH12. So they trade the 16 and Kevin Martin to Utah and 18 to Atlanta who sends Josh Smith to the Lakers who sends Gasol back to Houston. And Utah sends Millsap to Atlanta

• Utah takes Kendall Marshall

 

• 17^th pick- Dallas selects Jared Sullenger

• 18- Atlanta takes Moe Harkless

• 19- Orlando takes Terence Ross 

• 20   Denver – Marcus Teague

• 21- New Orleans- Quincy Miller

• 22-New Orleans- Fab Melo

• 23- Atlanta- Will Barton

• 24- Charolate- Draymond Green 

• Pacers- Andrew Nicholson

• 27- Miami- Festus Ezeil

• OKC- Jeff Taylor

• Bulls- Royce White

• 30- Golden State- Troy Wrotten Jr

Blazers: The Offseason

Full disclosure: I got fed up with the Portland Trail Blazers following their embarrassing road losses to Boston and New York and decided to shut down my fandom for the remainder of the season. I was already on life support due to starting the season two months late; but following two months of watching Raymond Feltons fat ass turn the ball over and reading articles about how the players were conspiring against Nate, I just couldn't do it anymore.

But whats done is done. The seasons over and Raymond Felton is hopefully back in Carolina at an Izzy's waiting to take down their lunch time buffett. I on the other hand, am busy playing NBA 2k12 while figuring out exactly what the fuck these dudes should be doing to rectify the situation.

It's actually not that hard, really. They need to resign Batum, and pump money into a point guard and center. Never fear, they have Batum's bird rights, four draft picks (2 in the top 14), and near 20 million in cap to play with.

A wild card rests in our an arbitration case we are participating with alongside the Knicks come the end of June. What's being arbitrated is Jeremy Lin and JJ Hickson's birdrights. If the teams win, Portland and New York will be able to sign Jeremy Lin and JJ Hickson and go over the salary cap to do so. This is HUGE as JJ Hickson was Portlands best player the last 10 games or so.

For the purpose of this, lets be optimistic and assume we get the bird rights to JJ. Obviously we either sign him or make a shitty offer so some team like Phoenix has to pump a stupid amount of money into him. Oh Phoenix you do want to pay JJ 10 million next season? Be our guest.
Dealing with the draft first, the pick to me is obvious. With the 6 pick we draft Andre Drummond. He is the best athlete in the draft and a potential franchise center. What makes him fall to us at 6 is that he hasn't really proved he is as good as his potential says. A lot of people are worried about him being Kwame Brown 2.0. That being said, an equal amount of people believe he could be Amare Stoudimire or Dwight Howard. For a team with a horrid record with centers, law of averages says we are due to pump a good center out. DO IT.

On to the 11 pick. Time to address the point guard situation. Kendal Marshall or Damian Lillard would suite us just fine. Damain is better, but could get swipped up by then. Either that or trade the 11 pick to Boston for the 21 and 22 picks. They need to get young in a hurry and if you aren't in with Marshall or Lillard it could suite us to trade down.

Especially if we acquire the main target of the free agent class, at least as far as we are concerned: Goran Dragic.

He started 20 games for Houston and averaged 18 and 8 in those games. He played two seasons behind in the Steve Nash basketball camp. He can knock down wide open shots. Basically he was the complete opposite of Fat Felton. Portland's going to offer him a substantial deal and pray the Rockets don't get drunk before considering to match it or not.

If they do match it, you better hope they are open to trading Kyle Lowry because Nolan Smith and Johnny Flynn aren't taking us anywhere this year.

Again, thinking optimistically, lets assume we drafted Andre Drummond and Daminan Lillard (because thats who I drafted on my 2k12 franchise). Lets also assume that we signed Goran Dragic. If he works out, delicious. If he doesn't, we have another potential franchise dude in Lillard. I'm ok with this problem.

The last issue we have is the starting center. Andre Drummond for as great of an athlete he is (and he is, supposedly the fastest runner in the draft AT 6'10") he has no business playing meaningful minutes at the start. What I would do is call up New Orleans and say, "hey, we will offer you very little for Emeka Okafor. Let us pay him that awful contract you gave him 3 years ago." They will probably say, "is this a joke? Absolutely." and that will be that.

Here is your opening night lineup:
Dragic
Mathews
Batum
Aldridge
Okafor

Bench:
Hickson
E.Williams
N. Smith
Babbitt
Drummond
Lillard
and then whoever we draft in the second round.

Is it perfect? No. It's not going to win a title next year. But it's a hell of a start. Drummond will get good minutes dunking on 2nd stringers this year, and hopefully by the trade deadline NEXT year we can deal Emeka's expiring contract off and Drummond can step in and do a Andrew Bynum impression ( not the shit head act, more the 30 rebound act). I will go to war with that team any freaking night.

Mariners: May in Review

Maybe this isn't the best time for me to write a review as my over all opinion might be skewed by the 21-8 box score I'm looking at right now. Maybe this isn't the best time for me to be critical of a 23-30 team who just threw up 20 hits (including 10 extra base hits) on the best team in the American League. Yeah, maybe it's not.

But I'm still going to.

Let me just start by inserting a 'booyeah', 'hell yeah' and 'take that, Texas' into this paragraph. Unfortunately I didn't get to watch the game live due to Husband duties, and the game was ultimately spoiled for me while I was wandering aimlessly throughout the local Ikea. But the highlights were magical. And the box score is boner inducing.

Justin Smoak, 1 of his 2 home runs last night.

Justin Smoak seems to be turning it around. Last 7 games he is 9/24 with 5 extra base hits. I'm holding my breath, but last nights 2 bombs maybe what the young first baseman needs to finally get off and running.

The biggest revelation of the season those continues to be Kyle Seager. Last year, the only thing he seemingly brought to the table was that his name wasn't Chone Figgins. This year he seems to have found a power stroke. Kyle at times looks like our best hitter (even better than the great Dustin Ackley) and his 22 extra base hits this season don't take away from that statement.

May was a particularly strong month for Kyle "Not Chone" Seager with  7 doubles, 4 home runs. Needless to say, I feel like we could be looking at our future 3rd baseman and I'm really glad he isn't the guy who used to play for the Angles.

And yes, I'm aware I wrote a "Chone Figgins is Back" post not too long ago. Blow me, I get really excited very quickly.

Outside of Seager though, the rest of the team is a headache. In May, we went 12-17 and Chone Figgins still has a locker spot. Maybe this series against Texas, and the 33 runs we have scored, will be the start of something beautiful.

I'm crossing my fingers.

Mariners: April in review.

Alot can happen in two weeks.

Two weeks ago my wife and I found out we were expecting, my brother and I spoke daily, I was in line for a promotion at work and Chone Figgins had seemingly rebooted his career.

Since April 15, we are still expecting, but that job passed me by, my brother hasn't talked to me since that date and Chone Figgins remembered exactly who he was and started to shit all over the souls of Mariner fan's everywhere.

Good news though, the nightmare is nearing an end as Eric Wedge has finally admitted that Chone Figgins is "not an everyday player." Yeah, no shit. 20 bucks says Hellen Keller could post a better obp than Figgy.

Following tonights 1 hitter by Felix, the Mariners are sitting at a lackluster 12-17. What makes this extra disheartening is that fact that a week ago they were 11-10. I obviously don't have an inside source to confirm this, but the fact that the Mariners racked up 7 runs tonight makes me think that Felix was threatening the physical wellfare of his teammates.

By all accounts Felix is an easy going guy, but you gotta imagine at some point he is going to drag Brendan Ryan into the middle of the locker room, put a gun to his temple and say, "IF YOU MOTHER F**KERS GET SHUT OUT AGAIN I'M KILLING SOMEONE!" 

It's damn ridiculous. He is pitching like someone has entered cheat codes and only has 3 runs in 7 starts to show for it. HIS ERA  (1.89) IS LESS THAN HIS WEIGHT. He has pitched good enough to be 6-1 right now, but since Howard Lincoln signs his paychecks I guess 3-1 will do.

I'm not ready to call out Justin Smoak. I still think he has something there. But don't for one second think that I'm not holding back some serious vitriol for that .177 batting average.

I didn't expect much from this team, but still, 12-17 sucks. It's getting old. Especially when you think they are about to turn a corner (like I did with that sweep in Detroit) only to get boned by the  Blue Jays and (don't call me Devil) Ray's.  Either suck, or don't. Perferably don't.  But pick a side cuz my heart can't take this anymore.

I guess we may get a good understanding about who this team is starting next week. Detroit is bringing their two man batting order to Seattle but this time we aren't missing Fister or Verlander. So, they shouldn't suck as much as they did when we came to Comerica.

That being said, we'll probably light up Verlander for a 10 spot which in turn will force me to look for hotels in Seattle during the month of October. I'm such a mark.

Zito and Figgins.

...and just like that hell hath froze over.

I'm waiting for the Mariners to kick off their series against Yu Darvish and the Texas Bitches, and I noticed that the Giants are blanking the Rockies. Oh man, blanking Tulo? Who is pitching?

Imagine my shock when I noticed the starting pitcher wasn't named Lincicum, nor Cain or Bumgarner. Nope, the pitcher currently mowing down Rockies like harmless blades of grass is none other than Barry Zito.

The very same Barry Zito who signed the most lucrative contract for a pitcher ever back in 2005. He is also the same Zito who has rewarded the Giants with only 43 wins in 5 seasons. All that under consideration, he is the very same Barry Zito that I have always hoped would end up in Seattle to repair his career ( I had wrote a piece last year that never got posted about how soft tossing lefties rebound very nicely in Seattle).

If Barry Zito finishes off this shut out then baseball fans can officially start panicking about the pending Mayan debacle. Because on the other side of the league, Chone Figgins has gone from my most hated player ever to someone who has 7 hits in his first four games. Including back to back 3 hit nights.

I'm working on thinking positively, so I will assume Chone Figgins return to a leadoff role can also remind him how to bat around .300. If he does this, the Mariners can realize my self proposed goal for them- stay competitive till I can start writing about the Seahawks.

Go Mariners!