Saturday, May 5, 2012

Mariners: April in review.

Alot can happen in two weeks.

Two weeks ago my wife and I found out we were expecting, my brother and I spoke daily, I was in line for a promotion at work and Chone Figgins had seemingly rebooted his career.

Since April 15, we are still expecting, but that job passed me by, my brother hasn't talked to me since that date and Chone Figgins remembered exactly who he was and started to shit all over the souls of Mariner fan's everywhere.

Good news though, the nightmare is nearing an end as Eric Wedge has finally admitted that Chone Figgins is "not an everyday player." Yeah, no shit. 20 bucks says Hellen Keller could post a better obp than Figgy.

Following tonights 1 hitter by Felix, the Mariners are sitting at a lackluster 12-17. What makes this extra disheartening is that fact that a week ago they were 11-10. I obviously don't have an inside source to confirm this, but the fact that the Mariners racked up 7 runs tonight makes me think that Felix was threatening the physical wellfare of his teammates.

By all accounts Felix is an easy going guy, but you gotta imagine at some point he is going to drag Brendan Ryan into the middle of the locker room, put a gun to his temple and say, "IF YOU MOTHER F**KERS GET SHUT OUT AGAIN I'M KILLING SOMEONE!" 

It's damn ridiculous. He is pitching like someone has entered cheat codes and only has 3 runs in 7 starts to show for it. HIS ERA  (1.89) IS LESS THAN HIS WEIGHT. He has pitched good enough to be 6-1 right now, but since Howard Lincoln signs his paychecks I guess 3-1 will do.

I'm not ready to call out Justin Smoak. I still think he has something there. But don't for one second think that I'm not holding back some serious vitriol for that .177 batting average.

I didn't expect much from this team, but still, 12-17 sucks. It's getting old. Especially when you think they are about to turn a corner (like I did with that sweep in Detroit) only to get boned by the  Blue Jays and (don't call me Devil) Ray's.  Either suck, or don't. Perferably don't.  But pick a side cuz my heart can't take this anymore.

I guess we may get a good understanding about who this team is starting next week. Detroit is bringing their two man batting order to Seattle but this time we aren't missing Fister or Verlander. So, they shouldn't suck as much as they did when we came to Comerica.

That being said, we'll probably light up Verlander for a 10 spot which in turn will force me to look for hotels in Seattle during the month of October. I'm such a mark.