Friday, December 31, 2010

The Last Day of 2010

Wow, that was quick. 2010 is on it's way out, and since I'm laid out with a bad back ( I was doing manly shit last night, aka laundry) I'll give you all a quick recap untill it's time for me to suck it up and get dressed up.

With out further ado, here is Clinically Awesomes review of 2010:
  • I lived. It seems foolish now, but there was a time when they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me that I did get a little freaked out.
  • I never gave a shit about the Tiger Woods scandle. I'm proud of that.
  • Ben Rothlisburger allegedly sexually assaulted a 19 year old girl in a bar. I have been known to side with the athlete under the idea that the girl is trying to get money. Being that this wasn't the first girl to throw a flag on Big Ben for entrochment, I became more skeptical.
  • I became the master of Beer Pong. No joke, I'm better then you.
  • The Mariners were supposed to be good. Key word: supposed to be.
  • The Girlfriend and I broke up. It wasn't pretty. It also didn't last long. Realizing the error in our ways, we were back together in two shakes of a rabbits tail.
  • My Blazers turned from a feel good up and coming team into a soap opera of bloody vaginas. They also fired Kevin Pritchard, which still hurts to write.
  • Lebron James came out to save the NBA from Heat.W.O. But after he chased Wade and Bosh from the ring, he drops three leg drops on Mo Williams to reveal that he is the third teammate. Drew Careys was later found naked with a cheese steak steak sandwhich in one hand and a gun in the other.
  • There was a time when I was convinced Chris Paul was going to be a Blazer. Then Oden's knee continued to be a pussy, and Brandon Roy's lack of miniscus also became a huge issue causing Rich Cho to say, "whats the f**king point?!"
  • I took a chance on Ben Rothlisburger in my fantasy league due to our new keeper rules and his 4 game suspension keeping his price tag low. I also took a chance by making a trade for Michael Vick. Both ended up working out for me... Untill the championship, where once again I lose to the Born Winner. I was later found with a cheese steak sandwhich and a hand gun.
  • The Blazers began their season 3-0. Then Roy started bitching about his knee. This opened the flood gate for copious amounts of shitty basketball to be played.
  • The ship has seemingly been corrected for the time being with Captain Vagina Pants (Roy) serving a suspension...er... resting his knee with no return date.
  • Including Roy's last game, a 12/15 night in Dallas (also known as "The night LaMarcus became a Man"), LaMarcus Aldridge is averaging 26 points 13 Rebounds.
  • In that same stretch, Portlands 8-5 (take that with a grain of salt, that stretch has seen 7 road games).
  • I survived my first quarter back at school. Barely. It was a rough quarter, where I nearly invited my humanities professor to a spirited fist fight (I would've beat his ass all over campus. Believe that.).
  • Closing out the year, on December 19th, about 9:30 pm I asked the Girlfriend if to marry me. She said yes. I was relieved. We made out for awhile. It was cool (I'm underselling it like crazy. I'm really excited about starting a family with her. This was the best Christmas I ever had and it started with a ring and a question).

Well that was 2010 in a nut shell. A quick list for a quick year. Now I gotta suit up, taking the Fiance out for a night in Portland. Gonna do the New Year right, with booze (hopefully enough to numb my back) food and friends.

Happy New Year, bihotches.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

clinically Awesome's 2nd Birthday Day

I'm can't write too much right now, I'm balls deep in the middle of trying not to fail any classes and have been sucked dry of anything that even resembles creative juices.

But this is a special occasion as it is my 2 year annaversary, so I'll address it a little bit.

Last year I thanked all my loyal readers. This year I'd like to take time and thank everything that has inspired me.

First and formost, The Portland Trail Blazers, Seattle Mariners and Seattle Seahawks. You three are my favorite teams and you consistantly shit all over my face. I'm like the wife of an abusive husband, telling myself that they love me back and believing them when they say ' this time it'll be different'. Year, after heart breaking year you tell me this year is THE YEAR, and I tell myself that you wouldn't lie. I believe that things will be different. Then two months later I'm wearing consealer while you are sporting a sub .500 record and we start talking mock drafts on the sports radio channles.

The Blazers have been abusive in a different way.brightspot in my fandom has been the Blazers, and even they refuse to put out anything that looks like a competative squad.

On the bright side, the Seahawks have yet to be eliminated from playoff contention, despite the fact that they are destined to be sub .500. What makes that even funnier is the fact that if they DO make it, they will be a division winnner and the proud host of a playoff game. Don't you love techniqualities?!?

I'd like to thank douche bag athletes. Specifically, I'd like to thank Lebron James. Because Lebron is such an incredible douche, I had lots to bitch about this summer. I wish I could just record my rants and post them on here, because they were some of my angriest, most venomous tyrades ever. Sadly, because I'm read less frequently then the bible in the Lohan household- the would have still gone unheard.

Actually, while we are on the subject, lets go ahead and thank Ben Rothlisburger, too. You sir, are (allegedly) a terrible human being. That being said, you are a starting quarterback for my playoff bound fantasy football team.

I guess what I'm saying is this: if you help me win a championship, and I'll not only forget that you've been accused twice of sexual assault in an 18 month span but I'll go as far as to nominate you for knighthood.

Next up, I'd like to thank Beer. This blog started with the idea that I'd be telling a lot of drunken stories. And for the first year, there were alot. My favorite being last years "Drinking in Spokane, through the Magesty of Pictures" ( Sept '09). Sadly, due to a mutant form of Mono, natural maturation and responsibilities, beer and I have had to seperate ourselves with very limited visitations this year. Sure, I still let my hair down from time to time (and alot during the brief seperation from The Girlfriend) but nothing compared to my consumption levels of years past.

That being said we do have New Years, Hocky Tickets and my birthday with in the next two months... I imagine I'll have SOMETHING to report.

Here's hoping that after finals are done, my creative juices return.



And Thanks again to all of you who read this (ever).