Mariners: July in Review

Welcome to the big leagues, Trayvon Robinson. YOu had a catch last night that successfully made me shit my pants. So even if you go Puegero on us (strike out all the time- which is possible since your minor league career saw you make contact on only 65 percent of your swings) we will always have that catch.

Now that we covered that on to bitching about the Mariners...

I haven't writen about the M's in two weeks, because, well, they fucking suck. But July is over, so lets take a look at what happened:

June ended on a bit of a sour stretch (as far as the first three months were concerned). When Philadelphia left Seattle, the Mariners were 2 games above .500 and had a punchers chance of sneaking into the playoffs (granted we would've had to aquire a hitter or two, but the chance was there). With that in mind, The Mariners promptly lost 7 of the next 12 games.

July started exactly the way you would want July to start, if you had just been sodomized by Washington, Florida and Atlanta- with a series against San Diego and Oakland. After taking 4 of six games between those shit teams (inlcuding Blake Beavens first major league win), The Mariners got fisted again in a 4 game set with the Angles and limped into the All Star break riding a 5 game losing streak.

10 games into July and we had scored more then 3 runs one time: in a 6-0 shut out of Double A San Diego(which actually doubles as Justin Vargas' last major league quality start... untill last night).

Thankfully, the All Star break came up and allowed us to go home and lick our wounds. The boys had to have been burnt out and just needed the three days to recharge, right? Wrong. The Seattle Mariners actually had the longest All Star break ever, a 15 day weekend. Unfortunatly, they had games scheduled during this break and lost the first 12 games after the Mid Summer Classic.

Why do they suck so much? It's simple: Because Justin Smoak is allegedly playing with a thumb injury since mid June (his numbers reflect the time frame perfectly), Ichiro is closer to 40 then 30, Chone Figgins is still a Mariner, and Baseballs Rule's forbid Dustin Ackley from batting in all 9 positions while utalizing the 'Ghost Runner' concept.

I had high hopes heading into July for this team. All 5 members of our rotation had a ERA of 3 and half or under. Our hitters were doing just enough to get by, and teams were getting ready to auction off pieces that would make us a better team (at one point I had myself convinced Ryan Ludwick was going to make us 'Not To Be Fucked With' good. HA! Ryan Ludwick!). Unfortunately, the wheels feel off and we got sodomized by teams for the better part of three weeks, leading to managment waving the white flag and trading away Doug Fister, David Pauley and Erik Bedard. I'll miss those guys, especially Bedard. We waited three years for you to do anything, and the moment you get your shit together we sent you to Boston.

Sometimes this world isn't fair.