Pizza (and other stuff)

I've been going through alot as of late. No more girlfriend, and now getting ready to go back to school. Yup, big changes for me. Life over the last 20 days has been a constant test of will. My character has been called into question, and tonight may have been the biggest test thus far. my resolve was tested. Tonight folks, my inner strength was taken to the brink and back. And I'm proud to say I won.

Tonight I said no to pizza (among other things, but we're going to focus on the pizza).

I know what you're thinking, "Dude, why would you do that? You love pizza (and other things)."

This is true, but I had to. I'm on a diet to get myself in to 'single shape'. Pizza (and the other) are nothing more then a physical and mental road block to feeling good about myself in todays single life climate. So as hard as it was to say no to something just put on a dish and stuck right in front of me, it was my duty as an American, to say no.

Here is what happened in a nutshell. The ex had a little too much to drink tonight, and needed a ride back to her pad. Me being the good lad that I am, went and picked her up. By the time we got back to her place, we were balls deep in a conversation about the future (or lack there of) of our relationship.



The conversation raged on. We eventually ended up inside her apartment. It was a wierd situation (as it has become all the time with her). A big part of me told me, "ok she's home, now get out of there before anything happens." As soon as I'd get to a point where it wasn't rude to just bounce, then another voice would creep into my head to say something like "dude, you want to be there."

It was like an English Parlament debate had broken out in my head. I couldn't take the debate in my head, or the debate taking place infront of me. Finally, it was time to leave.

Thats when I noticed the pizza. Two slices of pepperoni from Dominos. Sitting there unclaimed, arms length in front of me. Cold. Sexy. Ready for consumption. The two slices sat there in their box, just looking back at me as if to say, "come here big boy. Hungry?"

Yes I was. Oh God, was I hungry.

I stopped moving to the door. I hadn't had a real meal in a few days. And there were two slices of pizza showing me enough of the good stuff to make a 14 year old boy ask for the bathroom pass in math class.

The debate in my head switched gears, the merrits of the pizza were called into effect.

"This Lad needs to eat the PIZZA! He is famished!"
"No! He has already cut three pounds! It will go straight back to his ass!"
"He is a man! He can't worry about his ass!"
"He is going on vacaction! He needs to be toned up"
"Wenches want meaty gentlemen!"
"Diet!"
"HE IS HUNGRY!"

I stood over the slices of pizza. They looked so tasty. So ready to be enjoyed by my super hungry belly. I was being tempted by the devil himself, I thought.

I reached for the slices. I was fully prepared to give in to all the temptation I had been facing that night. The pizza (and other stuff) no longer seemed like a bad idea. As I was about to grab the first slice, I had a moment of clarity:

This pizza was from Dominos. They changed their recipe. It's no longer as good as it was, and definitly not as good as the other pizza companies. So here I am about to cheat my diet for a shitty second rate slice of pizza. And I'm worried about hurting the feelings of a girl who recently decided (again) she didn't want to be my girlfriend (only to decide a week later that she in fact did still want to be).

No, screw that.

I'm going to be strong. I will not give into temptation. Atleast not tonight. I have a goal, and tonight is not the night that goal will be broken.

So I turned, said goodbye to the ex, then left her apartment. Proud of myself, but hungry as hell.

(Thank goodness it was Dominos and not Round Table).










Yeah I know what the fuck!?