Hooking Back Up with the Dunk Contest

Last year I broke up with the NBA Dunk Contest. Last night, I saw her at the bar... and I'm not ashamed to say that we hooked up three times and once in the morning and are now talking about working on our relationship. It's so funny how a year can change you.

Last night I sat down, in comlete oposition to what I vowed never to do again, and watched the NBA's annual dunk contest. Despite the fact that we were only a year removed from me being embarrassed for the league wasting time with it's 2010 effort, and effort that forced me to announce, "Unless they do the equivalent of totally reinventing themselves, getting in shape and getting a dope job. Then we can re-open the case of Dunk contest and Belvins compatabillity(The only way this happens is if Lebron and some real dunkers finally show up)."

Well, a real dunker showed up. His name is Blake Griffin. He is the equivalent of a dropping 15 pounds, a brazillian wax and a Trish Stratus like boob job. He is the total package of a highlight dunker. Not since Vince Carter has the NBA had this much buzz over a dunk contestant.

Side Note: I swear on my brothers life if you try to argue this point by saying the names 'Nate Robinson' or 'Dwight Howard' I'll fucking kill you. No one seriously cared about those dunk contests. It was like me last year saying, " Man I can't wait to see what Shannon Brown does."

Blake Griffin does shit that makes you question reality. His dunk on Timofey Mozgov had me thinking I was watching someone play in the Matrix. That dunk seemingly stuck a rocket in his careers ass (and subsequently destroyed Mozgov's simultaniously).

And the best thing is- he wasn't the only player in this contest that I love. The Seattle Sloppy Seconds Foward/Center Serge Iibaka is in too. And I LOVE that dudes game. Let's just say I would do thing that are frowned upon by the laws of the United Nations to get him to wear Black and Red and play his home games in Portland.

Javale McGee, the Wizards hot headed big man also had a huge coming out party. The big man shocked some people with his dunks. 7 footers aren't supposed to have the body control or the athleticism to make you go 'holy shit thats an NBA Jam dunk.' Fortunatly, he did have that athleticism that big men aren't supposed to possess, and everyone watching certainly benifited.

Picture this, Serge jumped clearly behind the free throw line (also, a 7 footer) got me to scream "HOLY SHIT" and didn't even make it out of the first round. Thats what kind of awesome McGee brought to the table.

The point is, I jumped to early in saying 'never'. I was too emotional after last years anti-climactic contest. I should've taken a few days to reflect. You would've expected better from someone who recently got engaged to a girl who I've gone through multiple break ups with over a 6 year period. I've said 'never again' there too, and I'm getting married in July.

That'll teach me.

Ps. DeMar Derozan was pretty awesome too, so here is a picture of him floating in the air being awesome... moments before he gets sodomized by the judges because they don't know who he is.