I should not be allowed to type at 2 am

I can't sleep.

I got home from work a little past an hour ago. Much to my frustration, my body and mind are trapped in a state of confusion. I'm some kind of combonation of exhausted and wide awake. I ate some string cheese, took a shower and then tried to go to sleep. It didn't work out. I tried watching a documentary on Hunter S. Thompson to tire me out, but found I wasn't awake enough to focus on it.

I don't have much to say. Truth be told, I'm not even sure why I'm writing right now. I put my ipod on, and I'm listening to a combonation of Bon Iver, Deathcab and Bright Eyes and writing just seemed to be what I should be doing.

It's just I have nothing to write about. I've been rambling alot lately ( I said some super wierd shit in the last entry), and I wanted to have a reason to write in here next. I wanted to have a topic, some legit structure. Looks like I screwed the pooch on that one. Oh well, there is always NEXT time.

My lack of inspiration is not my fault. I refuse to shoulder the blame for this. I'm just bored right now. I don't have much of anything going on in my life. I'm just waiting for my old job to get in gear and give me my job back so I can start making some serious beer money again.

But I'm tired of writing about that. I'm becoming a "woe is me" broken record, and I don't want the six people who read this to think I'm going snap or do something super drastic. I mean, I DID consider bleaching my head the other day (platinum Billy Idol style). I quickly gave that idea the kabosh. That would be as drastic as I would go. So don't worry, I won't be doing anything crazy like joining the Army (now the Navy or the Coast Guard could be a different story).

I want to be famous. I want to find a way to get paid making people laugh. I know, I know, thats a real fucking shocker. Look, if you're gonna be a regular on this, you'll just have to get used to me droppin intimate pieces of insight like that on you. This is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my blog as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding (feel free to name the movie that I just bastardized that from).

I've been doing alot of serious thinking lately. I'm not gonna dive into a lot of details on this one. There is too much to it. It's not a blog topic, let alone for a quick paragraph. Shit, it should be a case study. The only hint is, it's something that has DOMINATED where my head is at over the last few years. Believe me, no one wishes I wasn't thinking about it more then me. It's seriously getting annoying.

It's no one's fault other then my own, and my inabillity to occupy my hyper active mind/imagination with other tasks and things to ponder. The thoughts just keep coming back and coming back. It should just go away right? That just seems logical. Heck, even the Bubonic Plague and the Macarena eventually went away.

Even mentioning it probably didn't help either. I'll probably dream about it now. The imaginations of humans are easily occupied, especially if the subject is taboo. If I told you not to think about a red crayon, what would you think about? Exactly, RED FUCKIN CRAYONS! You'd be day dreaming of Fire Trucks and sports cars. Thats human nature for you.

Guess who just yawned?! Yup, it was me. It was a good one too. I think that means it's time to wrap this up and get my sleep on. So thank you to the six people who read this, and goodnight (or good morning, depending on when you read this).

I'm gonna go drink some water and dream about red crayons and being famous.