Birthday BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lets go a head and take a moment to wish me a Happy Birthday.

Thank you.

Now let me hit you with some quick awesomeness. I had my first beer in almost a month the friday night. Well techniqually it was Saturday morning, but you get the point.

We went bowling for my birthday. I was really struggling with ideas on what to do since I couldn't black out and all (doctor still has me on booze lockdown). So last minute I decided bowling would have to work (though I hate bowling).

Not a big crowd, but just enough to make me feel appreciated. And that was cool.

Any who, we went to Big Al's, and we bowled. Shocking, I managed to find enjoyment in a sport I hate, without alcohol. I found it through monsterous cups of Mountain Dew. Yes, the old stand by came through again.

Like a solid booty call, Mountain Dew is there whenever you need it. She doesn't get jealous when she hears you've been drinking Pepsi. She doesn't stop answering when her friends saw you at a bar with Jack and Coke. She is good to you wheter you drink it in the morning or in the evening. And tonight was no different. Mountain Dew took care of me tonight. Thanks old friend.

However, Mountain Dew can only go so far when everyone else is getting shitfaced. By the end of the night, I just wanted to taste a beer. Not have one, just taste one. After all, the doctor said no, and I'm trying to get healthy.

But I'm only a man, and a man has needs.

The night started slipping away, and the beers my crew were putting down were starting to mock me. "You know you want us." They would say. I could hear them whisper when I would walk passed Danes pitcher. Girlfriends Long Island Ice Tea would bat her eyes at me when she saw me looking.

I had to have it. I went to sample Danes beer. One sip won't kill me. It won't mess up my liver even more then it is. I'm sure of it. Dane saw what I was doing and he slapped my hand, "No! You have mono, bitch." the hand print on my the top side of my had served as the doctors will. It was as if he was Omnipresent and my buddy Dane was being occupied as his Vessel of Goodhealth Security.

I should've listend to the warning of the slap. But the mono hadn't just effected my liver, it's also depleted my ability to resist temptations. I desired beer, and I'll be damned if I wasn't going to submit to my OWN desires on my birthday.

Dane walked away from his beer. I had a moment, but only a moment, to act. I quickly grabbed the straw from my Mountain Dew, plunged it into the cup of Coors Light (it was Coors Light, no doubt) and sipped. I sipped like a thirsty toddler.

Once it touched my lips...oh so good. A little warm, but so good.

I had to have more.

One friend of mine in attendance is a nurse in training. So I decided to check in with her. After I explained the situation, she informed me that as long as I don't get shitfaced and then do it the rest of the weekend, that I should be fine. It was her theory that the Doctor just assumed that when I asked "can I drink?" it was code for "can I drink lots, and often."

I felt comfortable with that answer, and went on to enjoy three more beers that night.

All in all a great night, and I want to thank everyone who came out (even if I don't know you that well).

Here are some random thoughts about my Birthday and other stuff:

• Girlfriend saw to it that all my good times were paid for. Seriously, she is so awesome it's getting to the point where its going to be awefully hard to replace her. Which is awkward since the lease is up in two months and I had planned on trading her in for a younger model.
• To my friends Michelle and Andy, congratuations on the engagement. It's about time.
• Some of the classic names for the Scoreboard : Dragonslayer was my brother and Rusty Trombone was yours truly.
• Got to watch my girlfriend get hit on relentlessly while posted up at the bar. Never thought I'd actually find enjoyment thought that. But I did. It might have something to do with the fact that she shut these dudes down hard without knowing I was behind her. Again, she's making it hard.
• Uh, Taco Bell's queasadilla is whats going on at 3 am. Put some hot sauce on that and passing out no longer seems like a good idea.