Saturday, July 2, 2011

An Idiots Guide to the NBA Lockout (2011)

A month ago, sports fans everywhere were wrapped up in what is widely considered to be the greatest two month stretch the NBA has produced in near two decades. During their seemingly endless playoff run, we saw multiple 20 point come backs, devistating 4th quarter collapses, and career altering performances (for example: see Zach Randolph transfromed from resident shit head to the perennial post player in the league). Both the Eastern and Western Conference Championships saw four teams with unqustioned star power and teams who had legitament chances of winning the title. Dirk Nowitzki, Kevin Durrant, Derek Rose, and The Miami NWO all came with in 8 wins of holding the O'Brien trophy.


We saw Derek Rose strap his team to his back and try and pull them into the finals. This is a method that had worked all season (leading to his MVP) but was derailed by a Heat team who seemingly had figured out finally who the hell they were. And they were scary.

The whole league thought they saw the end of competative ballance for the forseeable future during a two week stretch, in the Conference Semi's and Conference Finals, when we saw Lebron James decide he was going to become a transendant defender. Which he did, and everyone whitnessed in horror as he successfully erased Derek Rose from the Eastern Conference Finals.

Following the impressive performance by James, members of the media and retired great's like Scottie Pippen felt compelled to label him as the "Greatest Of All Time." Nevermind that he hasn't won the title yet. He just humilliated our MVP! The title is a given! 6 games, 4 losses, a public bitchout session from Dawayne Wade, and a Cris Angel like vanishing act- and Lebron has lost his G.O.A.T nomiation from the media (Pippen as well has since retracted but that might've been after Michael Jordan mailed him a severed horse head).

Finally, we saw Dirk tell everyone who called him soft (I'm guilty of this) over his career to "fuck off" in German. It was truly magical. Like the cheesiest possible ending to a Disney movie, where the grizzled vetrans ban together for one last chance at winning it all. It was a Wrestlemania-like ending, with good finally going over evil, and winning the World Title.

And after all that awesome, seriously 2 months of breath taking basketball... the NBA still took their ball and went home. Like a bunch of bitches.
I'm not going to sit here and pretend I know all the legal mumbo jumbo and all the petty issues both sides have during these negotiations, so I'll just relay what I know:

Since the CBA was ratified in 2005, NBA teams have been hemoraging money. This past season, 22 of the 30 franchises are rumored to have lost money. And unlike their NFL brethren, these franchises financial shortcommings are public knowledge. Commissioner David Stern has even reported that the Union has been presented with certified financial statements as well as tax returns confirming these losses. Its been reported that collectively, the teams have lost upwards of 300 million dollars last season (I've seen reported as high as 370 million).

The owners, who are obviously not in the business of losing money, initially proposed a hard salary cap system, reducing contract lengths and eliminating contract guarantees, as well as reducing player salary costs by about $750 million annually (boy, do I wish Latrell Sprewell were still in the league right now-he would be Chernobyl right now).

Right now the league splits the revenue at players recieving 57 percent annually. Players have proposed to drop it to 54 percent. The Players insist this would decrease salaries by 500 million. According to ESPN's Michael Wilbon, the Owners want it to be in the neighborhood of 60-40 in their favor (despite NBA.com reporting a proposed 50-50 split). I don't care much that the owners say they would allow for gradual change over a 10 year span and that they guarentee that league wide players sallaries would remain over 2 billion- That is a big fucking gap.

The players, who need to put food on the table for their kids (I'm so glad I managed to still fit that joke in) are not trying to just hand over that kind of chedder. In fact THEIR last proposal before the Lockout began had their salaries INCREASING by 7 percent by the sixth year of the 10 year agreement.

The players are also adamently against the idea of a 'hard cap'. The Owner's contend that a 'hard cap' will allow small city teams (Charolate, Memphis, New Orleans, Minnesota etc) or franchises with cheap ass owners (ie. Phoenix) to contend. The Players believe that a hard cap will elliminate the NBA's middle class paychecks.

Basically, if that were to happen it would create 2 tiers of players and huge pay differential between the superstars and the rest of the league. You can set the cap at wherever you want, but the Lebrons, Howards and the Carmello's are gonna still make their paper. It's Udonis Hasslem who will have to pass on a new Maybach. Personally, I cannot live in a world where NBA player has to subject himself to driving the same car twice in one week.

All that said, here is what I think:

13 years ago the NBA came within 24 hours of canceling a full season. I remember this vividly as the year I learned the rules of Sumo Wrestling and dove heavy into the WWE. Former Blazer Assistant GM Tom Penn said on PTI this week that he believes there is a 75 percent chance of a canceled season. Meaning it looks like I'm going to be watching alot of wrestling this winter.

Do I think they are going to cancel the full season? No. I don't. There is too much money on the plate and I don't think anyone wants to return the NBA to depths that it was after the last lockout. I'd say smart money is on season starting towards the end of January. Remember this, if the players don't play they don't get paid. Once players start missing paychecks we'll see how commited to the cause they will be.

Chris Paul can beat the 'players are better prepared this time around' drum all he wants, but child support is expensive; eventually these cats are gonna need some bi-weekly chedder.

I don't care who caves, just that someone does. They're both being ridiculous. Split the money 50-50, stay with the soft cap, but allow owners more lifelines from the evils of guarenteed contracts. Teams should not be held hostage by the Eddie Curry's and the Darius Miles' of the world. Players should be held accountable to live up to their contract, if the owner is going to be held accountable to pay the money. I'm looking at you Jerome James.

Players Union, Owners, it doesn't matter who but there needs to be a compromise, or someone needs to cave in. Just do whatever the hell it is that needs to get the players over entitled asses back on the courts and the Owners back in the luxury suites.

The NBA has ass loads of momentum following this years season. Please, please, please don't waste it.

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