Live, From My Cell

Before we begin, I need everyone reading this to swear an oath of secracy. You see, currently I'm sitting in a cubical of a place that might not be ok with me typing on my blog. So if you're going to read this, then you better know not to tell my boss.

Now you may be asking, "dude, WTF, why would you risk your job?!" Now that is a good question. I've worked at this place for about a year and a half now, and if my job was at serious risk then I wouldn't be doing it. Trust me. In this economy if you're lucky enough to have a job, white knuckle that bitch. Don't let it go. Not even to take a pee. Seriously, take your job with you. Just shift yourself so your job can't take a look at your junk. You can't afford not to.

That being said, if the wrong person were to see me using the internet for fun, and not for work....well, I'd probably be getting bent over my desk and railed with my name plate. Graphic, I know, but true.

It's just work is so boring right now. I'm being very un productive and my desk is not making for a compfortable pillow. So we can rule sleep out of the equation. I've read ESPN top to bottom. And most importantly, I have nothing to bitch about (outside of being bored).

You see typically for the entertainment of everyone around me, and to pass my own time, I usually engage in long winded bitch sessions at work. The subjects of these rants, much like some of these blogs are often focused on my wildly up and down love life (it was recently compared to a hurricane. I have found this to be strangly accurate. Not sure if thats a good thing or not).

However as of this week, my unpredictable and destructive love life took a turn towards domestication.

Yes, Sarah and I decided to try it again. Not gonna lie, there were times when I didn't see that happening, but here we are a year and half since the last break up, trying it one more time.

Quick story of Irony: Some of you may recall our first break up (which can still be watched on PPV). It was my first break up so I wasn't sure how to handle it. Admittedly, I didn't handle it well. After the initial wave of Super Emo Depression (or SED) wore off, I decided to buy something to take my mind off of it. This is where I bough my xbox 360.

Now I loved my xbox, or as I have referred to it in the past as the Girlfriend Replacement Equipment. And we had a lot of fun times. But sadly, its been acting up lately. Freezes at inappropriate times, only works half the time. Kind of like when the family dog stops playing fetch and starts laying in the middle of the yard not moving, and you have to scream her name 50 times just for the dog to briefly look up at you. And like the family dog that starts to go senile, who only shows signs of life when it growls at little kids, it had to be put down (ok, well maybe I didn't put it down, but it got unplugged and we definitely got another one so we could play the new Tiger without it freezing).

The GRE finally got un plugged the same week that the girl it was replacing came back into the fold. Conincedence? I think not.

Along with the attempt to be domestic comes a renewed desire to practice sobriety. As the last couple of months have gone, I have limited my booze in-take to one night a week. Typically a Saturday. Now I say I limit it to Saturdays, but we all know that mean thats just the day the crazy comes out. Yes, the Baron of Blackout has been racking up serious levels of hammeredness over the last couple of months- which has led to wild times and some serious hangovers (also, it has led to some rather regretful tales but thats for another day). If I want to give this relationship a decent shot, the Baron is going to have to put his cape away for a bit.

I know, I know I've said this before. I wouldn't put a lot of stock in me either. Young plus stupid is a terrible combonation and doesn't always equal successful domestication. It also doesn't help matters that my job often causes me a great deal of stress, and at times all I can think about is becoming a Shit-Faced Worrior and buring the city down. In fact, I feel that urge right now.

Fortunatly for my liver, my mood tomorrow, and my new relationship I will not be pulling the Barons Cape out from storage tonight. Nope, no booze tonight. What I AM going to do is this: I'm gonna log off my computer here in a second, lock up my desk, walk home and play Tiger Woods 2010 till I fall asleep on the new 360.

I know it's boring. But remember, I'm domesticated now.