It's 9:13 am, and I am in the handicap stall with my legs spread out, laptop on my bare knee, taking a shit that is going to result in me being tracked by the government from now on for possible terrorist connections. Believe me, it's putrid.
But how awesome is America and technology where I can experience this joy on an almost daily basis. I am cleaning out my colon, while peacefully reading twitter updates. As long as I can do that-the terrorists will never win.
Same thing with doing it at work. I make it a point to take time out of my work day (an unplanned break of course) to go in the bathroom and grow a tail. I get paid to get called a "piece of shit" all day, so why not get paid to make a "piece of shit"? It's the biggest no brainer, ever.
I wish I could take a picture of how much room the handicap really have in here. Do they need chaperones to come poop? Thats the only explanation for having THIS much room. While the poor schmuck in the next stall has to practically stand up while squeezing one out just to fit.
I don't go out of my way to shit in the handicap stall. There was just someone else in the other one. But I'm glad I did. This is luxury. This must be what Peter Griffin felt like when he discovered the executive bathroom.
Alright I'm gonna go. I gotta put my laptop down to wipe.
PS. I wrote about this phenomenon once on my Myspace blog. If you feel like reading more of my thoughts about shitting while having a laptop feel free to snoop around. I'll even provide a link
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=380162430&blogId=447219185
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