NFL: The 2012 Preview

2 and a half hours till kickoff and I still haven't done any type of NFL preview post. How is that possible? Is it because I don't know what I'll say? Shit, I never know what I'm going to say. So that can't be it. Is it because I haven't done my homework? Again, please. I'm two fantasy drafts in. I'm practically in midseason form.

So why haven't I started it yet? Well, for starters I'm lazy. Actually, scratch the starters. Thats the whole reason. I haven't written this yet, because two nights ago my wife gave me permission to buy Madden. Down goes the laptop, up comes the joy sticks.

But I'm at work right now, 15 miles away from my xbox. Sounds like the best possible time to pound out some predictions.

First, lets do the divisions:

NFC West- Seahawk, 49ers, Ram's, Cardinals
NFC East- Eagles, Giants, Cowboys, Redskins
NFC South- Falcons, Panthers, Saints, Buc's (although that division so screwy it could literally reverse order)
NFC North- Packers, Bears, Lions, Vikings

Wild Card: Giants and Bears

AFC West- Broncos, Raiders, Chargers, Cheifs
AFC East- Patriots, Bills, Jets, Dolphins
AFC South- Houston, Tennessee, Indi, Jacksonville
AFC North- Ravens, Bengals, Steelers, Browns

Wild Cards
Bengals and Raiders

Superbowl: Ravens over Eagles ( I was originally going to put Patriots over Philly, but I really want to be different and leave the door open for me ripping my shirt off and pounding my chest in celebration. Stand by)

 For shits and giggles, here is a quick prediction for the Born Winner:

NFC WEST- Seattle
NFC East- Giants
NFC South- Falcons
NFC North- Green Bay

Wild Card- Chicago  and Philly

AFC West- Denver
AFC East- Patriots
AFC South- Indi (Seriously, he said that. Bold move, for a bold man)
AFC North- Steelers

Wild Card- Bengals and Chargers

Superbowl- Patriots over Chicago

Here are some other things to watch out for:

• Tom Brady is going to be awesome. There is a reason I killed a man to get him on my fantasy team. I fully believe Brandon Lloyd is going to do a poor man's Randy Moss impression. Plus, he still has a contract starved Wes Welker, and a freshly paid Aaron Hernandez and Gronk.
• Russell Wilson is going to win Rookie of the Year.
• Toby Garhart is going to play ALOT more than the Vikings would like. Toby Garhart is not a bad running back. Toby Garhart is going to make ALOT of money for himself this year.
• Mark Sanchez is going to be better, but it won't matter. That decision has been made. The Jets are going to suck and Tebow is going to take over. Mark Sanchez, QB of the Los Angles Jaguires.
• If Darren McFadden stays healthy, he leads the league in rushing and Oakland wins 9 games.
• Calvin Johnson is going to top last season
• Arian Foster is not.
• The Saints are going to struggle. Right, I mean they don't have a coach.
• Well, they still have Drew Brees. Hand to God if that team wins 8 games Drew Brees should rip off his jersey and walk RIGHT into Canton.
• Peyton Manning is going to toss 30 touchdowns and Eric Decker is going to be a house hold name.
• Romo is going to toss 4000 yrds + again. However, since he is still the Quarterback for the Cowboys people will disect his game like he threw 28 picks.
• Dez Bryant is going to go ape shit this year. By November, we will all be sick of the "sercurity team has lead to maturity" stories surrounding Bryant and his huge season.
• Larry Fitzgerald is going to be responsible for the death of John Skelton.
• Ray Rice, MVP.

There, I'm on record.  Lets do this damn thing.