Week 1

Wednesday night was a little slice of heavan. I ditched the gym and told my wife in no uncertain terms, "hunny, I'm getting a burrito and watching every snap of the Dallas/NY game." Now I'm not a Giants fan. And I certainly don't favor the star. But I needed football.

So what happened? I went to Qudoba, and hooked up some Tortilla soup and a Queso burrito. I went to 7/11 and bought a Mountain Dew (I'm constantly trying to quite drinking soda. The only thing that accomplishes is forcing me to drive to a gas station when ever I want one).  I got home just as the ball was being placed on the tee for the opening kick. It was magestic. I couldn't duplicate that timing again if I wanted to.


I'm all in.

Following that game (in which I picked Dallas, so  this season is off to a good start), armed with a full belly, I laid in bed with my mind racing through an entire universe of thoughts. Is Dallas good (possibly)? Are the Giants bad (hell no, they always lose games they should win)? Why is John Pierre Paul not fighting crime (he should. Scary M-F)? It was so lovely to have football back in my life again.

Then Thursday morning happen, and the crulest joke the world could play on me was played. I realized we had four day's till the Seahawks kicked off their year. FOUR  FREAKING DAYS. Are you kidding right now, NFL? That is absolutely on par with your lady giving you a boner, then falling asleep with out allowing you to finish. Just mean spirited.

Today was a little more manigable. Read some Russell "The Love Muscle" Wilson fluff pieces, checked my fantasy team about 700 times, and solicited all my Cardinal fan friends into some harmful shittalking. All in day's work, really.

 

Tonight, I have the night to myself so I'm going to play Madden till my eyes bleed. In the mean time, I'm still at work so lets pound out some odd's (I'll bold my picks)

• Atlanta @ Kansas City (+ 2 1/2) I mean, Atlanta needs to look strong here, right? They need to get people back on their band wagon so they can break peoples hearts again in January.
• Philladelphia @ Cleveland (+11) Lets get this straight. I think Cleveland sucks. I also subscribe to the theory that there are mystical forces that hate the city of Cleveland (I'm not prepared to say that God himself hates Cleveland...But someone important does). So what would hurt worse? A Eagles shit kicking or a game where Brandon Weeden keeps the score close only to get his knee blown out next week? I'll take the 2nd option, thank you. 
• Washington @ New Orleans (-9) If you tune in on Sunday and Drew Brees is hovering around 500 yards passing please realize he is having a Waterboy moment and everyone on Washington's team looks like Roger Goodell.
• New England @ Tennessee (+5 1/2) I love Jake Locker. However, I REALLY love Tom Brady. I'm sorry Jake, we'll talk again next week.
• Miami @ Houston (-13) Only because in week 1 bad teams hang out with good teams. That being said, if Ben Tate and Arian Foster combine for 320 yards rushing just know that I'm not going to be that upset about it.
• Buffalo @ New York Jets ( - 2 1/2) I know I'm not down on Sanchez, but obviously Tebow has mystical powers.
• Jacksonville @ Minnesota (-3 1/2) LETS GO TO-BY. CLAP CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
• Indianapolis @ Chicago (-11) Here is your chance Andrew Luck, prove me wrong. 
• Los Angles St. Louis @ Detroit (-8 1/2) Yeah, good one.  I would've taken Detroit if they were hanging Oregon points.
• San Francisco @ Green Bay (-5) Welcome back to the middle, SF.
• Carolina @ Tampa Bay (+1) Remember how Josh Freeman doesn't actually suck.  New coach, home team? Yeah, they'll win.
• Seattle @ Arizona (- 2 1/2) Russell may struggle at first, but after Hurricane Earl takes a ball back to the house this game is going to get UGLY.
• Pittsburgh @ Denver ( -1) Big Ben is gonna get dry humped all night. He may need neck surgery afterwards. I'm sure Peyton could suggest a good surgeon.
• Cincinatti @ Baltimore (-7 1/2) Logic would tell me Baltimore is going to win big. But this is week 1, and Monday Night Football where nothing ever happens how it should.
• San Diego @ Oakland ( pick 'em) Because I had to pick somebody.

Get some.