Finally...Belvin has COME BACK to Waaassshhhington

Did you hear that? Thats the sound of thousands of girls fist pumping.

Time to do some crunches ladies, the the account holder of your future child support check is back in town! Trojan Condoms stock prices just shot up(your welcome stock holders).

The professional drifter has landed back in the main nest, and it's time to act accordingly. So if that means not finishing meals and throwing up the part you've already eaten, by all means do so. Maybe it means telling your boyfriend that you're leaving town to visit your grandparents for the weekend. Hey, if your relationship is based on a foundation of lies then who am I to tell you to stop? The point that I'm trying to get across here is that in four hours I'll be getting off a train ( my second in a week) dry humping my brother, and kissing the dirty concrete of the streets of Vancouver.

Time to get crazy.

Also, It's December, so that means christmas is pissing distance away! Yeah for the presents...I have to buy (fuck). Monetary commitments aside, daddy loves Christmas. I'm not too big on Thanksgiving because I've never really been a Turkey guy (that changed this year, mainly because drifting around california makes one hungry). It's a chance for me to hang out with my family, eat good food (mom usually hooks up a mean lasagne, or we ordered Dominos), and get presents!

Hopefully if you're reading this, you know that lately I've been a wee bit of a transient over the last little bit. In the last 6 weeks or so, I've slept in 6 different places. I spent Thanksgiving in Healdsburg California. The heart of wine country. I was with good friends, and my awesome cousins so that was cool. But the absence of the rest of my family was quite noticeable. I didn't get to join in family in some of my favorite family traditions. My favorite being, where we go to Flying Pie Pizza in Portland, sit around a big ass table and we break everyones balls like it's a Bond Family Roast. (Note: Comedy Central you need to film us next year. Do this, and thank me later).

My uncle Pat was even there, and he is the king of mean. When I was younger, I use to start writing come backs in October just so I had some return fire on the constant barrage of Gay jokes that would be coming my way (No, I'm not gay. He just didn't understand that a 13 year old could still be a virgin).

I'm so fuckin stoked to be home. I'm so ready to eat my moms lasagna, play basketball, watch Raw, and sleep in a real bed. Holy crap, I might need a cigarette just thinking about it. You think I'm joking, but I'm not. I'm half mast just thinking about my Blazer tickets for the 18th. I haven't been gone that long, and I looooved LA, but dammit I missed Washington.

Don't get it twisted, I'm not back for good. I went to Cali on a mission, and that mission is still listed as pending. This is just me coming home for Christmas, and re-hashing out a plan of attack for my future endeavor. You see, I kinda left for California in a haste. I didn't have an effective plan. I didn't think about the fact that I might need things like a car. Yes, I realize I'm fairly retarded. But thats ok, I'm 22 and have no major commitments in my life. I can dick around the country for as long as I want.

So I'm coming home to work, brainstorm, and maybe work on a project or two. Oh and I'm gonna party too. Thats unavoidable. I've missed Portland bars, and getting stupid with my buddies. There wasn't much room for excessive drinking when I was in full fledge money conservation mode. Lets face it, at 22 thats pretty important.

I gotta be honest, I got pretty home sicks down south. Over the six weeks I was gone I slept in six different places. Maybe home sick isn't the right word, I just missed certain aspects of the northwest that I had come accustomed to. Like the Blazers, sleeping on bathroom floors, and the shitty weather (ok, that last one is a lie but for a while I was doing good with that honesty thing).

I miss the hours of xbox, getting pictures taken in suggestive poses, and being able to see Throwback Suburbia as often as I want. I wasn't gone long, but I was gone long enough to miss these things.

Rest assure, I will be enjoying the shit out of all these things when I get back.

Ladies you're all officially invited to the return extravaganza for the Baron of Black-out. And yes, we will be keeping true to my legend and will be participating in some serious Time Traveling. See you there, oh and ladies, one more thing...this is clothing optional.