Friday, May 29, 2009

King James: Holy Crap

I woke up this morning, and the first thought I had was, "Lebron."Ok, I lied. It was something along the lines of  "Shit. I have to be at work in 20 minutes." 

But thats not important right now. Whats important, and the point I'm trying to drive home is that I spent the majority of the day thinking (and arguing) about what was going to happen in tonight's game (the 5th of the Eastern Conference Finals). 

Think about it, either way there was going to be some big story coming out of tonight. Outcome 1, the Magic slap the Cavs, again, and knock out the number 1 seed. This would absolutely be the biggest story of the year. ESPN would probably explode. Not just the station, but the whole damn concept of a sports television network. 

The media had all but given the Cavs the 09 title as far back as January. Now here they are in May, on the verge of getting knocked out before the finals. This would be a huge upset, and it would derail The King from assuming his thrown and his place as the leagues Undisputed Alpha Male. He has everything on the resume, except that ever elusive NBA title. 

Lebron losing would unfortunately serve as the opening to what would be endless conversations about Lebrons inability to get his team a championship. Recall conversations about Petyon Manning before the Colts 06 Superbowl win (which is ridiculous to even pretend to compare if you REALLY look at it. The man is putting up video game numbers in every game, but unfortunately for the Cavs, hasn't found a way to clone himself or be able to play all five positions at the same time).

Outcome 2, Lebron goes out and has his usual Video Game statiscial game, only this time gets a little help from Mo Williams and co. and he is able to fend off elimination atleast one more night. It would only add to his already robust legend, and firmly place thought of doubt back in the Magics mind (also equally as important keeping David Sterns raging hard-on over the possibillity of a Lebron-Kobe finals alive. You just know he goes to bed every night praying JR Smith has an dream that tells him he should shoot more then Carmelo and shoots the Nuggets out of a series they will probably win). 

This is undoubtably the most important game of Lebrons career, to this point. When he went to the finals two years ago, no one expected him to do so. There was no pressure on him. Now he is the leagues MVP, and playing on a one seed. He has all the pressure in the world on him. He has to come through.

As expected King James put up un-natural triple double that only he could produce, giving his team it's second win in the series and breathing a little more life in the series.

He gave it to the Magic. He gave it to them long and hard. Orlando was the drunk girl at the party, and Lebron spent extra attention to that girl (and stopped drinking hours ago). He had his way, then he was cold hearted enough to not even make them breakfast in the morning. Seriously, my kind of guy.

The moral of the story is this, The Cavs had the best record in the league this year, and it wasn't because of Mo Williams or Delante West. Nor is it because Mike Brown is a tactical genius. Nope not the reason. The Cavs are where they are because Lebron is a sophisticated robot sent here from the future to destroy conventional statistical boundries as we know them and make a grip of cash at the same time.

In closing, Cleveland, if you want to win this series, make sure Lebron touches the ball on every possession. Mike Brown, if I were you, I would fine everyone on your team 25,000 dollars for EVERY possession Lebron doesn't touch the ball. You do that, and it will be Lebron vs Kobe.

The way the David Stern intended it.

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